- Professor Fitzgerald: [inspecting Dr. Cameron's lab] You seem to be excellently equipped.
- Tom Servo: Thank you! I didn't think you could tell through these trousers.
- Dr. Erhardt: As you know, toy manufacturers are always making their toys too safe. And what children want is realism.
- Dr. Forrester: And danger!
- [Mad doctor has turned Petro into a wolfman and set him loose outside]
- Tom Servo: That felt good! Now I'm going to go turn my daughter into a woodchuck.
- Joel: Uh, sirs, I think that's the end of the experiment this week. I hope you're pleased.
- Dr. Forrester: [referring to end of movie] Of course we're not pleased. Can't you see a mad scientist has just died?
- [first lines]
- Dr. Erhardt: They promised me students, but all I got were monkeys, monkeys, monkeys! So I took off my wet suit, dropped that hedge clipper and walked out of that zoo forever.