The Simpsons (TV Series)

Raging Abe Simpson and His Grumbling Grandson in 'The Curse of the Flying Hellfish' (1996)

Marcia Wallace: Edna Krabappel

Quotes 

• Grampa : Now, my story begins in 19-dickety-2. We had to say "dickety" 'cause that Kaiser had stolen our word "twenty". I chased that rascal to get it back, but gave up after dickety-six miles...

  [the children laugh] 

  Martin Prince : "Dickety"? Highly dubious!

  Grampa : What're you cackling at, fatty? Too much pie, that's your problem!

  [Martin looks mortified] 

  Grampa : Now, I'd like to digress from my prepared remarks to discuss how I invented the terlet.

  Edna Krabappel : "Terlet"? Ha!

  [the children laugh again] 

  Grampa : Stop your snickering! I spent three years on that terlet!

  [everyone laughs, while Bart shamefully hides his head in his shirt] 

• Grampa Muntz : No, I'm not Superman. I'm a judge. Why, just this morning, I sentenced my 46th man to death. Oh, no, 47th.

  Nelson Muntz : Wow, 47. I love you, Grampa.

  Grampa : Yeah, well, I may not have a fancy black bathrobe and a hammer like Snooty, but I do have slippers and an oatmeal spoon.

  [taking the spoon out] 

  Grampa : Look.

  Edna Krabappel : Bart, perhaps your grandfather would like to come up front now and give someone else a chance to interrupt.

  Bart : Oh, please, no.

• Edna Krabappel : All right, seniors. We'd all love to share in your wisdom, experience, yadda, yadda, yadda. Let's start with Milhouse's grandfather.

  Grampa Van Houten : Uh, how many of you have a house?

  [the students shout their answers] 

  Grampa Van Houten : All right. Now, how many of you drove your house to school today?

  [the kids raise their hands, then look around, confused] 

  Grampa Van Houten : Well, I did. No, I'm not Superman. I just own an RV. Me and the new wife travel the country searching for adventure. Last fall, we won a chili cook-off in Beaumont, Texas.

  Grampa : You're living in a fool's paradise, Van Houten. If you fell down in the shower, that thing would be your tomb.

  Bart : [embarrassed]  Grampa, hush.

  [opening his desk] 

  Bart : Here, why don't you spit some more?