Josefine Preuß: Lena Schneider

Quotes 

• Doris Schneider : Anybody want anything from the supermarket?

  Lena Schneider : [voiceover]  Me. My old life, please.

• Lena Schneider : Yagmur, tell me, what is it you're praying for?

  Yagmur Öztürk : That everything will return to the way it was and you will all move out.

  Lena Schneider : Send my regards up, I'll take the same.

• Cem Öztürk : There are some rules you should know, you know. This is my 'hood, my area, my street.

  Lena Schneider : You want to sell me real estate?

• Doris Schneider : You are so kitschy!

  Metin Öztürk : Yes, that's how I got you.

  Lena Schneider : You only got her because she is in her midlife crisis. Don't hold it against me, Metin, but if my mother were a man, you'd only be a Porsche.

• Nils Schneider : He's a crime scene analyst. He's told me that he only needs a pubic hair or something like that, and then he finds the criminal.

  Lena Schneider : So they'll never find you.

• Doris Schneider : [is supported by Lena and Nils in an exercise meant to leave fears behind]  I am afraid that I won't be able to make Metin happy. Sexually, too.

  Lena Schneider : [her and Nils get up, disgusted, and go away] 

  Doris Schneider : This exercise simply doesn't work with teenagers.

• Lena Schneider : [voiceover]  Three weeks. Then you'll break up anyway.

  Yagmur Öztürk : [beckons to the waitress]  Has pork been served on this plate? I guess so, since you offer pork dishes on the menu. I would like to have a fresh, wrapped plate. I'm muslim. That's a religion.

  Lena Schneider : [voiceover]  Two weeks.

• Doris Schneider : Whatever she says, she doesn't mean it.

  Lena Schneider : Mom. Father. Siblings. To us! To the Schneider and the...

  Metin Öztürk : Öztürk. Metin.

  Lena Schneider : To the Schneider and the Öz... nöks. Cheers.

• Cem Öztürk : [his first sentence in the series]  I hate China pubs, they put dogs in the food.

  Lena Schneider : [voiceover]  A cliché. And it's alive.

• Lena Schneider : [Intro of every 1st season episode]  That's me. Happy. Before my mom fell in love again. And my life was over. And now? Am I living in an extended family. And I really could have done without that.