Killer Pad (2008)

Eric Jungmann: Craig

Photos 

Quotes 

• Brody : That guy just ripped out his own heart.

  Craig : And tracked mud all in the house.

• Craig : These girls look cooked.

  Doug : I know they're totally baked.

  Craig : No man, I think that they're dead.

  Doug : Holy shit!

  Craig , Doug : [scream] 

  Craig : You've got a little corpse on you!

• Brody : It all makes sense. How could we have been so blind?

  Craig : What?

  Doug : What are you talking about, Brody?

  Brody : Don't you see? The hellacious stench, the ungodly heat, the forbidden fruit. I know what did this. It was a bunch of God damned squatters!

  Doug : You think weightlifters did this?

• Craig : I don't know how I'd feel about having some poor bastard work for free.

  Doug : It's un-American.

  Fire Marshal : No, you gotta trust me on this one. I mean, he wouldn't mind. Not like when his wife of seventeen years, who he treated like a goddess, left him for Tom at Myspace.com.

  Craig : It kind of sounds like your friend might be gay.

  Fire Marshal : Why? You gay? Nice apron.

• Craig : I can't believe this is happening.

  Doug : I don't believe my eyes.

  Craig , Doug : Joey Lawrence came to our party!

• Brody : Boys, save yourselves. Lucy's the devil!

  Craig : I don't even care.

  Brody : Let me offer some words of persuasion: She has a penis!

  Craig , Doug : [scream] 

  Doug : Holy camel foot! Deal breaker!

• Brody : Well, that's it. All the stiffs have come back to life and everybody's going home.

  Craig : Yeah, including us. My dad's balls are enormous.

  Doug : Like cantaloupes in a tube sock.

• [first lines] 

  Craig : Oh! Help!

  Doug : Uh-oh.

  Craig : I think we got to pull over, Brody.

  Brody : Again? Craig. You've been shitting across America.

  Doug : Seriously. I want to get there, man.

  Craig : Come on, you guys. The cigar's hanging off the lip.