- Daisy Moses: [on the phone with Mrs. Drysdale] Listen, honey, I got my still set up not fifty feet from your back door. Now, you come on home an' you an' me will get glassy-eyed, fallin'-down crocked. We'll get juiced to the eyeballs. How does that sound to ya, honey?
- Jed Clampett: [taking the phone from Granny and listening] I don't hear nuthin'.
- Jethro Bodine: Granny, whereabouts do you want the still?
- Daisy Moses: Over here on this side of the "ceement" pond, Jethro.
- Jed Clampett: What in the world kind of a dress is that?
- Elly May Clampett: Well, Miss Hathaway says a Californy sun dress.
- Jed Clampett: I'd let no son of mine wear it, daughter neither.
- Milburn Drysdale: [reading the label on Granny's medicine bottle] Fer pain. One swoller. Don't open near fire.
- Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: [Mr. Drysdale tries to drag Mrs. Drysdale back to the car by her fox stole] Let go, you beast!
- Jethro Bodine: [Jethro thinks a fox is attacking her and grabs a shotgun] Step aside, lady, I'll shoot it.
- [Mrs. Drysdale turns and sees Jethro, screams and throws her hand up. The fox stole flies up in the air and Jethro blasts it]
- Daisy Moses: Y'ain't gettin' me to no desert. Trees were so far apart, the woodpeckers had to tote lunch.
- Milburn Drysdale: Yes, I know what I have to do. I'll go to the airport. I'll take Margaret in my arms. I'll look her in the eye and lie like a rug.
- Jane Hathaway: What?
- Milburn Drysdale: I'll tell her the Clampetts have left town and put her back on the plane.