- Miss Gretchen Wilomena Kraus: Katie, I thought you were going out tonight.
- Katherine 'Katie' Olivia Gatling: I'm going over to Judy Palermo's. Who's on TV.
- Miss Gretchen Wilomena Kraus: I don't know. Why don't you check out TV Guide?
- Katherine 'Katie' Olivia Gatling: No, I mean a rock band.
- Miss Gretchen Wilomena Kraus: Oh, a rock band. Uh, what is it called?
- Katherine 'Katie' Olivia Gatling: Who.
- Miss Gretchen Wilomena Kraus: The rock band.
- Katherine 'Katie' Olivia Gatling: That's right. This is their final concert.
- Miss Gretchen Wilomena Kraus: Whose final concert?
- Katherine 'Katie' Olivia Gatling: Yeah.
- Miss Gretchen Wilomena Kraus: Yah who?
- Katherine 'Katie' Olivia Gatling: I'm pretty excited myself. What are you doing tonight?
- Miss Gretchen Wilomena Kraus: Uh, my favorite pianist is on PBS tonight.
- Katherine 'Katie' Olivia Gatling: Liberace?
- Miss Gretchen Wilomena Kraus: No, Andre Watts' his name.
- Katherine 'Katie' Olivia Gatling: Beats me. I'm not into classical.
- Clayton Runnymede Endicott III: [Clayton wants Kraus to prepare a special breakfast] Here. I'm expecting you to prepare it.
- Miss Gretchen Wilomena Kraus: Really? You're going to be expecting longer than a pregnant elephant.
- Clayton Runnymede Endicott III: [Kraus leaves the room] Impertinent Bavarian peasant.
- Miss Gretchen Wilomena Kraus: I hear you!
- Clayton Runnymede Endicott III: I was counting on that.
- Peter 'Pete' John Downey: Uh, for crying out loud, Denise. I didn't splash that old lady on purpose.
- Denise Florence Stevens: You yelled, "10 points".
- Governor Eugene Xavier Gatling: [Referring to Kraus] Oh, she's pulling her shade down.
- Benson DuBois: Well, that's a blessing.
- Miss Gretchen Wilomena Kraus: [Kraus, Benson, and the Governor after spending the night on the mansion roof] I had no trouble at all. It's a Kraus family trait. If we're tired enough, we can sleep anywhere, even standing up.
- Benson DuBois: So can a horse.
- Denise Florence Stevens: [Talking to Clayton] I'm not your servant. I don't make your coffee. I'm a secretary with an above average IQ, which is more than I can say for you
- [Motions towards Pete who is wearing a yellow rain coat]
- Denise Florence Stevens: or that empty-headed school bus.
- Benson DuBois: Kraus, take off your clothes.
- Miss Gretchen Wilomena Kraus: What?
- Benson DuBois: I haven't been on the roof that long.
- Benson DuBois: When they put the antenna up on the roof, he'll be able to talk to people all over the world.
- Miss Gretchen Wilomena Kraus: What's the matter, he forgot how to dial the telephone?
- Governor Eugene Xavier Gatling: [the Governor is holding Benson by the feet so he doesn't fall off the roof] All right, I got you, Benson. If you go, I'm going with you.
- Benson DuBois: Yeah, great, you can land on me.
- Governor Eugene Xavier Gatling: Gee, Benson, I didn't know you were interested in radio.
- Benson DuBois: Yeah, well, I learned about it in the Army. Before that all I knew about radio was that two white guys played Amos and Andy.
- Denise Florence Stevens: Fire! Fire!
- Peter 'Pete' John Downey: Where?
- Denise Florence Stevens: In the Governor's office.
- Governor Eugene Xavier Gatling: [Kraus has just fallen off the roof] Is she all right?
- Benson DuBois: Well, I'll be damned. She made the tree.
- Miss Gretchen Wilomena Kraus: [Kraus has just been told the Governor has a ham radio] He made a radio out of a ham?