Benson (TV Series)
Calamity Kraus (1983)
Robert Guillaume: Benson DuBois
Photos
Quotes
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Benson DuBois : [Kraus comes into the kitchen carrying a garbage can] Out of the way, Benson.
Miss Gretchen Wilomena Kraus : Why don't you carry a purse, Kraus, like other women?
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Clayton Runnymede Endicott III : Benson, Benson turn on the charm.
Benson DuBois : Forget it.
Clayton Runnymede Endicott III : Do you want the toaster company to remain in this state?
Benson DuBois : Is the president bowlegged?
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Peter 'Pete' John Downey : Do me a favor... Does this sardine look okay to you?
Benson DuBois : Well, it's hard to tell. Is it running a fever?
Peter 'Pete' John Downey : What the heck.
[Pete drops the sardine in his mouth and eats it]
Benson DuBois : Where did you learn to eat, SeaWorld?
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Miss Gretchen Wilomena Kraus : [Kraus is trying to do an impersonation of Judy Bob] Okay, listen to this. Howdy, pardner.
Benson DuBois : Well, that's great, but it doesn't sound like Judy Bob.
Miss Gretchen Wilomena Kraus : Fine. Get Rich Little.
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Benson DuBois : [Benson is talking to a parrot that just called him cupcake] How would you like to be surrounded by potatoes?
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Miss Gretchen Wilomena Kraus : Well, do I look like Judy Bob Gallagher?
Benson DuBois : No, Kraus, you look like $100 worth of junk jewelry.
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Denise Florence Stevens : [Denise comes into the office carrying a cowgirl outfit for Kraus] Gentleman, we found a cowgirl outfit that would fit.
Clayton Runnymede Endicott III : Uh, that is a little gaudy, isn't it? Where did you get that thing?
Peter 'Pete' John Downey : A buddy of mine went to a Halloween party dressed as Tammy Wynette.
Benson DuBois : You must have a fascinating private life.
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Katherine 'Katie' Olivia Gatling : Daddy, you know they're not gonna believe Miss Kraus is Judy Bob.
Governor Eugene Xavier Gatling : Oh, so you think it's a dumb plan, too, huh?
Katherine 'Katie' Olivia Gatling : No, I'm talking about Lyndon.
Benson DuBois : I thought they were all named Fred.
Clayton Runnymede Endicott III : Benson, Lyndon is the parrot. Oh, my Lord! We don't have a parrot.
Katherine 'Katie' Olivia Gatling : Glad to be of some help.
Governor Eugene Xavier Gatling : She's right. We've got to get a parrot!
Peter 'Pete' John Downey : I know where we can get a parrot. There's a Romanian guy who lives downstairs from me. He's got a parrot.
Benson DuBois : I take it back. Your private life isn't fascinating. It's silly.
Denise Florence Stevens : [a yell from the adjacent bathroom] Yahoo!
Governor Eugene Xavier Gatling : Congratulations, Miss Kraus. You're beginning to sound like a Texan.
Denise Florence Stevens : [Denise sticks her head out the bathroom door] That was me. I sat on a spur.
Benson DuBois : A common household accident.
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Pete Downey : Do me a favor... Does this sardine look okay to you?
Benson DuBois : Well, it's hard to tell. Is it running a fever?
Pete Downey : What the heck.
Benson DuBois : [Pete drops the sardine in his mouth and eats it] Where did you learn to eat, SeaWorld?