Benson (TV Series)
Stocks & Options (1982)
Robert Guillaume: Benson DuBois
Quotes
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Peter 'Pete' John Downey : [Pete has just given Benson 50 shares of stock as repayment of a debt] Benson, we're talking Orbiflight Universal Products. We're talking high technology. We're talking innovation, ingenuity, the future.
Benson DuBois : What do these people make?
Peter 'Pete' John Downey : Rubber balls.
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Benson DuBois : [commenting on Clayton's annoyance that his Orbiflight stock has fallen dramatically, to only 65 cents a share] Well, hold onto it, Clayton; it may bounce back.
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Governor Eugene Xavier Gatling : [Benson has secretly pulled off a plan to kill Senator Chapman's eucalyptus tree proposal, even though the governor had warned Benson that doing so would almost certainly cause Chapman to oppose the governor's housing bill] Senator Brown put together a coalition of voters from Chapman's district, and they convinced him we didn't need eucalyptus trees.
Benson DuBois : [grinning] Well, that's a terrific idea. I wish I'd've thought of it.
Governor Eugene Xavier Gatling : No, you don't. Because if *you'd* thought of it, and word got out, my housing bill would be in jeopardy. I'd be mad as... heck.
Benson DuBois : [laughs uncomfortably] Well, all's well that ends well.
Governor Eugene Xavier Gatling : That's exactly what Stretch Hopkins said. He used to work for me down at the mill.
Benson DuBois : Well, I'm happy to say, sir, you've told me this story before.
Governor Eugene Xavier Gatling : Oh, no, no, no, I told you about Stretch and the river raft. This is Stretch and the Christmas tree.
Benson DuBois : [muttering to himself] Great. Now he's doing sequels.
Governor Eugene Xavier Gatling : See, this was the year we were providing the White House Christmas tree. That's quite an honor.
Benson DuBois : I wouldn't know; I've never been asked.
Governor Eugene Xavier Gatling : Well, anyway, Stretch wasn't very fond of the Republicans, and he figured they didn't deserve a Christmas tree. Well, I suggested that he express his feelings at the ballot box, but Stretch took a more direct approach; he used a chainsaw.
Benson DuBois : On the tree, I hope.
Governor Eugene Xavier Gatling : Yeah. And he put me in a very awkward position, because, you see, I still owed the White House a Christmas tree.
Benson DuBois : [nervously] Does this story have a happy ending?
Governor Eugene Xavier Gatling : Yes; I didn't fire him.
[pauses]
Governor Eugene Xavier Gatling : And luckily, we found another tree. But I made sure that Stretch never did anything like that again.
Benson DuBois : What'd you do, whip him?
Governor Eugene Xavier Gatling : I just told him a story.
Benson DuBois : Governor, a word to the wise is sufficient.
Governor Eugene Xavier Gatling : I hope so, Benson.