- Tom Tucker: A bit of breaking news. A local family is forced out of their home by ghosts. Who are they gonna call?
- Diane Simmons: [sighs] Ghostbusters, Tom.
- Tom Tucker: No, Diane. Their insurance company. That's just stupid what you said.
- Peter Griffin: Hey Lois, get ready to laugh, get ready to laugh.
- [pops head out of Meg's butt]
- Peter Griffin: Gee, must've taken a wrong turn at Albuquerque!
- [laughs]
- Stewie Griffin: [speaking from TV] Mommy?
- Lois Griffin: Stewie? Where are you?
- Stewie Griffin: Look behind you, you stupid cow!
- Lois Griffin: Stewie, if you can hear me, head for Meg's butt!
- Stewie Griffin: [From the TV] Have you lost your mind?
- [the Griffins escape to the family car from the poltergeist]
- Lois Griffin: Wait a minute, where's Meg?
- Brian Griffin: I don't know.
- Stewie Griffin: I didn't see her.
- Chris Griffin: Yeah, I kinda thought you guys would attend to that.
- Lois Griffin: Peter, you got to go back and get her!
- Peter Griffin: Oh, yeah, right, like I'm going back for Meg.
- Lois Griffin: Peter!
- Peter Griffin: Lois, damn it, we both agreed, remember? If we could only save two, we leave Meg.
- Lois Griffin: I know, but...
- Meg Griffin: [Meg enters car, furious] YOU BASTARD! HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME IN THERE?
- Peter Griffin: Okay, see? It resolved itself.
- Home Supply Employee: Can I help you?
- Peter Griffin: yeah, I hate my neighbor and I want to build something crazy out of spite.
- Home Supply Employee: well I'll take you to our one up-man-ship aisle
- Lois Griffin: Are you sure Stewie can find his away out?
- Psychic: We just gotta be patient Lois. Like waitin' on the results of a blood test. A REAL IMPORTANT blood test.
- Chris Griffin: Will I ever see my baby brother again?
- Psychic: Only if he can find his way into the light, Chris. For some people it's easier than others. Some people just get lost on the way to the light. They're walkin' along, they stop and say "Ooh, is that a new restaurant? That place must have just opened up cuz I remember there was another place there a few weeks ago." I went in there once and there was a guy with a hair lip eatin' soup - and I was like ewww. It wasn't the restaurant's fault, I know, but I still never went back there. I mean I guess there's only like a 1 in 50 chance of me gettin' the same spoon that he had. But I still don't like them odds.
- Man 2: Well, isn't this a fine song and dance?
- Man on TV: What are you gettin' so hot about?
- Man 2: Keep your shirt on.
- Man on TV: Where do you get off makin' remarks like that?
- Man 2: Supposin' I say you're a lunkhead?
- Man on TV: Well I aint much for supposin'.
- Man 2: Well supposin' you were?
- Man on TV: Well maybe I'm through supposin' and I'll fix to start figurin'.
- Man 2: Ah horserabbish.
- Man on TV: Well aren't you a pocket full of firecrackers.
- Man 2: Oh yeah, you got something to say about it?
- Man on TV: I'll say plenty!
- Lois Griffin: Where's Meg?
- Stewie Griffin: I don't know. I didn't see her.
- Stewie Griffin: Yeah, I kind of thought you guys would attend to that.
- Lois Griffin: Peter, you got to go back and get her.
- Peter Griffin: Oh, yeah, right, like I'm going back for Meg.
- Sarah MacKenzie: [first lines, Peter watches an episode of JAG] Harm, I found that evidence we need. Now we can finally clear that Chief Petty Officer of all charges. Oh, what's the point? Does anybody even watch this show?
- Harmon Rabb, Jr.: Well, yeah, old people. I mean, they really don't pay attention. They just like the noise and the company.
- [smiles and waves to the camera]
- Harmon Rabb, Jr.: Hey, how ya' doin'? How's that hip doin' there? Remember the forties?
- [Stewie is being pulled into a portal in his bedroom]
- Stewie Griffin: I haven't seen anything suck this much since...
- [as he's being pulled through the portal]
- Stewie Griffin: I HEART HUCKABEES!