- Reginald "Red" Forman: Well, what do you say we all sit down and watch the Packers kick the crap out of the Vikings, huh?
- Josh: We like the Vikings.
- Reginald "Red" Forman: What did you say? You're Vikings fans? What the hell is wrong with you? GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!
- Josh: Red, come on, it's not our fault. We're from Minnesota.
- Jeff: We were born this way.
- Reginald "Red" Forman: Out! Out! Sickos!
- Reginald "Red" Forman: [to the new gay neighbors] Wait, you guys live together, without any wives or girlfriends?
- [Assenting nods]
- Reginald "Red" Forman: You know what I call guys like you
- Kitty Forman: [Undertone] Oh, dear!
- Reginald "Red" Forman: Lucky bastards!
- Jeff: [to Red] Well, you've been really nice to us. Do you know how hard it is for a couple of guys like us to make friends? The last place we lived we had to tell people we were brothers.
- Josh: Can you imagine anyone believing we're brothers?
- [They played brothers for five seasons on the Brady Bunch]