- Big Mouth Koopa: You're looking live at the Koopa Dome, where football is played the way it was meant to be played, in a dark, damp, and dusty dungeon! Welcome to today's game, featuring those bad boys of the Neon Castle, The Koopa Karcass Krunchers, vs. the Dome-Heads: Mario and Yoshi, who, by the way, don't seem to have any fans of attendance! And before I forget, we would like to extend a special welcome to Mario's brother, Luigi! Without his presence as a football, none of this would be possible. Today's game will be refereed by honest Cheatsy Koopa. It's not easy being a referee. Sure, Cheatsy might let a lot of penalties go unnoticed, but you have to let them play the game. Cheatsy is so unbiased that, in a gesture of good will, Mario and Yoshi will start the play. So it'll be first and ten, but it might as well be fourth and long because it's now or never, it's do or die, and it's sudden death if that egg breaks open. Boy, that missed extra point sure looms big now! All the excitement's building now, folks, and...
- Bully Koopa: Awww, shut up! We'll never get started!
- Cheatsy Koopa: [about Mario and Yoshi] I can't believe they jumped in the Warp Pipe that leads right to the Neon Castle!
- Mario: Hey, what're you playing, Australian rules?
- Bully Koopa: Yeah, I'm trying to put you down under, 6 feet down under!
- Cheatsy Koopa: Take these prisoners to the dungeon... while we decide what to do with Luigi the egg.
- Yoshi: Hey, that not egg. That football.
- Bully Koopa: Sorry, dino-dud. Luigi got changed into an egg. I saw it!
- Cheatsy Koopa: Wow! Luigi's been turned into an egg. Let's grab it.
- Bully Koopa: King Dad will love me... uh, us, even more if we bring him Luigi!
- Mario: Y-You mean that egg is Luigi?
- Cheatsy Koopa: Yep. In fact, I'm going to go tell King Dad, right now!
- [later]
- Cheatsy Koopa: Oh, King Daaaaaad! I have a big surprise for you! How does Eggs Luigi sound for lunch?
- [Koopa is sound asleep]
- Cheatsy Koopa: Maybe the fact that I have captured the Super Mario Bros. will wake you up? What was that? You say that as long as you're asleep, I'm in charge? I can do whatever I want with Mario and Luigi?
- [laughs]
- Cheatsy Koopa: Thanks, King Dad!
- [in the dungeon]
- Cheatsy Koopa: It's time to have a little fun in the great Koopa tradition. We're challenging Mario and the dino-dweeb to a game of football. Also making his first appearance as a football, and probably his last, will be Luigi the Egg!
- Bully Koopa: No good, you were out of bounds.
- Mario: I was not! I had both feet in!
- Cheatsy Koopa: Ah, who cares? You didn't get a first down. So it's the Koopas's egg.
- Mario: My brother's been turned into an egg, and now these wretched reptiles want us to play football with my brother as the ball. I mean, what's this kingdom coming to?
- Mario: Hey, wait a second. We're outnumbered. This is not fair.
- Cheatsy Koopa: Objection overruled!
- [Yoshi eats a Chargin' Chuck, then spits it back out]
- Bully Koopa: Hey!
- Yoshi: Ooh! Tastes like sweat bands. Eeh!
- Bully Koopa: Now that's not fair!
- Mario: Hehehe, tough. Hike!