Married... with Children (TV Series)

For Whom the Bell Tolls (1987)

Ed O'Neill: Al Bundy

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Steve arrives with another phone message for Peggy] 

  Peggy Bundy : Who is it, Steve?

  Steve Rhodes : It's your mother. She said to tell you she's worried about you. She doesn't like not being able to talk to you every day, so she's coming to stay until you get your phone put back in.

  Al Bundy : [his eyes widen with fear]  How much time do we have?

  Steve Rhodes : She was packing her bags.

  Al Bundy : Great, great. We can still stop her. See, she can never get through her front door on the first try. Peg, quick, call her. Use Steve's phone.

  Steve Rhodes : Oh, sure. Use Steve's phone, wake Steve up, let Steve take the message. Well, the Steve stops here and my phone is off-limits. Give Mom a hug for me.

  [Steve laughs as he leaves] 

  Al Bundy : Oh, God. What have I done?

  Peggy Bundy : Get out the Sitz bath, kids. Grandma's coming.

  Al Bundy : Look, Peg. Go down to the phone booth. Catch the woman before she gets to the bottom of the driveway, 'cause once she's in motion, you can't stop her.

  Peggy Bundy : Okay, Al, but only on one condition: That you pay that phone bill.

  Al Bundy : [gives Peg money]  Done. You win, but hurry.

  [Al shakes] 

  Al Bundy : Was that a tremor? Oh, God, she must be changing bras! Hurry! Hurry!

• Al Bundy : The new telephone bill came. Let's see... oh, there's some big fat bills from Milwaukee. You know anybody big and fat from Milwaukee, Peg?

• Al Bundy : [about $80 phone charge to Vancouver]  How about it, Peg, your mother gotten so fat she's spread across the border?

• Peggy Bundy : [on the phone]  I can't comment on that right now, Mom. Al just alked-way in the or-day.

  Al Bundy : Pig Latin, Peg? Must be your mother. Tell her I said "oink."

• Peggy Bundy : [on the phone]  Yeah, the new crime light is real nice. Everyone in the neighborhood is real happy about it.

  [Al enters] 

  Al Bundy : I hate those new crime lights. They make everything look yellow. This neighborhood's ugly enough during the day without having to look at it at night.