- Al Bundy: Oh, Peg, it was horrible. 16 straight hours of shoe-selling mayhem. The last thing I remember that that I was down on one knee, waiting on an overflowing glacier of a woman. The first thing they teach you when you're a rookie shoe salesman is when you've got a fat one in the chair, never look up. I looked up, Peg. I saw underwear. It said "Saturday."
- Peggy Bundy: So what?
- Al Bundy: Today's Wednesday!
- Al: [singing] Old Mc Bundy had a farm, B-U-N-D-Y. And on this farm there was no wife, B-U-N-D-Y. With-a no wife here and a-no kids there. A hooker coming over on Friday nights. With big luscious hooters, a pizza, and a beer there. Old Mc Bundy had a farm, B-U-N-D-Y.
- Peggy Bundy: What's he doing now?
- Bud Bundy: Well, he's got the flamthrower. He's aiming it at the hole. He shoots... and misses.
- Peggy Bundy: Garden on fire?
- Bud Bundy: Yep. And so is Mrs. Rhoades's fence. Whoa, look at her big tree go! Well, at least he didn't shoot himself in the foot.
- Peggy Bundy: Give him a minute.
- [a burst of flame passes the window, and Al runs in with his left foot on fire]
- Kelly Bundy: Now Daddy, I've been watching shows about rabbits; don't put the barrel in the hole. Or else he'll tie it in a knot and shoot you in the face.
- [Al stares disbelivingly]
- Kelly Bundy: Or he might make it curvy and make it come out a hole behind you and shoot you in the butt.
- Marcy Rhoades: On the bright side, my house is dry again... but then the sun would have dried it out, seeing there's no roof!
- Al: I must have poured a million gallons of water down that hole. I flooded the whole block and every living thing in it. Now if that rabbit's still alive, I'm yours tonight.
- [Rabbit's head pops out of hole]
- Peggy: [talking to the kids] You know, the sad thing is, I don't really want him. But, a promise is a promise.
- Al: Now look what you've done! You'll be screaming worse than me, I'll tell you!
- [as Peggy drags him into the house]
- Al: I'll get you for this, I'll make you pay for this, I'm telling you!
- Al: [aiming a shotgun] Oh, Mr. Wabbit? Come and get a tasty cawwot...
- [two gunshots]
- Bud Bundy: Well, at least he didn't shoot himself in the foot.
- Peggy Bundy: Hmph, give him a minute.
- [a third gunshot; Al hops past the window on one foot, screaming in pain]