"The Red Green Show" The Tax Refund (TV Episode 1996) - Steve Smith as Red Green

Red Green : They say necessity is the mother of invention. Don't know who the father is; probably remorse.
Red Green : I want to talk to you guys about something that's going to happen to your wife that'll have a tremendous effect on you. You know, a woman gets into those middle years, and she this brief, biological urge to have just the one-more child. I don't know why. Maybe it's because her babies are grown, or maybe she sees a younger woman expecting. Or maybe she realizes that once the kids move out, she'll only have you. But believe me, parenthood at your age is not a good idea. As you're slipping into your second childhood, you don't need somebody around you just starting their first. And you don't want somebody else in the house who goes to the bathroom more often than you do. So here's what you do, okay? Borrow a baby just for the weekend. Find some new parents and babysit. You know, give them a little break. I'll tell ya, by the time you hit the 1 A.M. feeding your wife will be having second thoughts. And then the 3 A.M. colic fits, she'll be asking you to phone the parents. And by the 4 A.M. diaper change, she'll be praying for hot flashes! So just let nature take its course. Remember, I'm pulling for ya. We're all in this together.

Steve Smith: Red Green