Marvel: Ultimate Alliance (2006 Video Game)

Quinton Flynn: Spider-Man, Arcade

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Quotes 

• Deadpool : The day my father Odin banished me from Asgard, I was bitten by a vampire and had radioactive waste dumped into my eyes. To make matters worse, my mutant ability to control weather activated just as I was hit by a blast of gamma radiation. Nah, actually, I got this way by volunteering for the Weapon X program. They promised to cure my cancer. And they cured it all right, by giving me an outrageous healing factor. Then they labeled me psychotic and tossed me into a prison lab. So I escaped and became what some people might call a 'mercenary'. I prefer the title 'cleaner of the gene pool'. And I've made a lot of good friends along the way: like Arcade. He's always sending me to his amusement park.

  Arcade : HELLO, Deadpool. Ready for a fun filled day in Murderworld?

  Deadpool : Yup. I've got my sunscreen on and I've taken my motion sickness pills so bring on the rides!

  Arcade : Oh, I don't think you understand. You're going to die here.

  Deadpool : I know! Carnivals always slay me.

  Arcade : No. You are going to physically die... as in stop breathing. You will cease to exist.

  Deadpool : Riiiiiight... So do you have bumper cars here?

  Arcade : Arrrgh!

• Deadpool : Hey, did I enter the side show tent? 'Cause you look like the dog faced boy.

  Dark Spider-Man : Oh, you are a wit, Deadpool... or at least half of one. Tell me, do the chicks go for your insane babble?

  Deadpool : About as much as they go for your attempts at self-deprecating humor.

  Dark Spider-Man : So then it doesn't work.

• Spider-Man : [thinking Doom killed him]  Where am I? Am I dead? Then why does heaven smell like a wet dog?

  Spider-Man : [turns his head, sees Wolverine]  Never mind...

• Captain America : Thor, take care of those gunships. Spider-Man, drive them towards the stern.

  Spider-Man : Sure thing. I just love being the target.

  Captain America : Wolverine...

  Wolverine : Stow it boy scout, I don't take orders from you.

• Spider-Man : [about Wolverine]  That dude scares me.

• Spider-Man : Man, S.H.I.E.L.D. is the coolest! They have flying aircraft carriers, bases on wheels, tell me you guys have a tunnel going from New York to Tokyo?

• Spider-Man : Hey, Cap, looks like you...

  [Captain America quickly dispatches a group of robots] 

  Spider-Man : could use some help...

• Spider-Man : [low on health]  Your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man could use some help!

• Spider-Man : Next time, I wanna fight someone that doesn't smell like old cheese.

• Spider-Man : [leveling up]  This is better than a spider bite!

• Nick Fury : Spider-Man, I didn't expect you to be one of the first to show up.

  Spider-Man : What? And miss riding on the helicarrier? This beast has gotta be the biggest waste of tax payer money in history. Hey, you guys have any plans to make a flying Mt. Rushmore? Seriously, that would totally rock.

• Nick Fury : Why is he always late?

  [Iron Man lands on a nearby balcony] 

  Iron Man : Hello, team. Welcome to Stark Tower, my pride and joy. It's 40 stories of heaven on Earth.

  Spider-Man : Huh, it's amazing what you could do with just a few billion dollars.

  Thor : We're now a team?

  Nick Fury : Yes. I been empowered by S.H.I.E.L.D. to create a task force to stop the Masters of Evil. But the helicarrier was so badly damaged that it can't be used as a headquarters. Fortunately, Tony is willing to let us stay here for the duration. It has all the facilities we'll require.

  Iron Man : Believe me, it's no problem at all. And I called in a few old friends to help us out - feel free to walk around and meet them.

  Nick Fury : I'd suggest you meet Hank Pym first since he's in charge of equipment. The Vision is here as our information officer.

  Wolverine : Great, we got the computer to talk to the computers for us.

  Iron Man : When you're ready to leave to go on a mission, talk to Wyatt Wingfoot. He'll take you there in one of my Quinjets.

  Captain America : Speaking of that, what is our next mission, Colonel?

  Nick Fury : I recently received a radio transmission from Dum Dum Dugan requesting that I come to the Omega Base. But there was something questionable in his message.

  Captain America : You think it might be a trap?

  Nick Fury : Maybe. I can't be sure. For more information, talk to the Black Widow.

• Arcade : I hope you're ready to dance till you drop, because in a little bit, you're going to be as dead as disco.

  Magneto : I have had enough of this pathetic collection of parlor tricks, and now this! This is completely beneath my dignity. How much of this nonsense must I endure? I will crush Arcade for this!

• Spider-Man : Mysterio... jeez, it's good to see you. Still got a fish bowl for a head, I see.

  Mysterio : Spider-Man, do you always have to be a half wit?

  Spider-Man : Oooh, now that hurt. And speaking of getting hurt, step away from those plans before I have to get medieval on you.

  Mysterio : You idiot. Why do you think SHIELD has plans for Ultron?

  Spider-Man : I thought everyone had 'em. I got some this morning in a box of cereal.

  Mysterio : These plans are upgrades. The "good guys" want to capture Ultron so they can rewrite his programming and turn him into a SHIELD weapon.

  Spider-Man : That's impossible. Ultron is sentient - reprogramming him is illegal.

  Mysterio : Yes, it is. But all I care about are these plans. Ultron wants them for the weapon upgrades.

  Spider-Man : If your Ultron gets weapon upgrades, then my Ultron will want weapon upgrades, and that just won't do.

  Mysterio : I've heard enough of your babbling!

• [During the Murderworld Mission, if the player's team includes Captain America] 

  Arcade : Why, if it isn't Captain America. I'd salute, but I think my arm is broken.

  Captain America : I've no time for your jokes, Arcade. Tell us where Nightcrawler is before I do break your arm.

  Arcade : Cappy, I'm surprised! I didn't think you of all people would resort to torture.

  Captain America : After what you did to Jean Grey, it wouldn't be torture, it'd be justice. Now talk before I do something you'll regret.

  Arcade : Okay, okay! Enough with the rough stuff! Doctor Doom used the Mutant Amplifier on Nightcrawler.

  Captain America : Why? What good would it do to supercharge Nightcrawler's powers?

  Arcade : Think about it, boy scout! With his powers amplified, Nightcrawler could open a portal to anywhere! And it just so happens, Doom wanted to go to... Mephisto's Realm. And before you ask, NO, I DON'T KNOW WHY THEY WENT THERE!

  Captain America : Then we're done here. Let's get back to headquarters, team. We've got a rescue to prepare for.

  [Arcade's robot self-destructs, but Arcade is nowhere to be found] 

• Nick Fury : Team, this next mission takes you to Mephisto's Realm. It's an alternate dimension that's filled with fire and brimstone.

  Spider-Man : Dah! Why can't we ever be sent to an alternate dimension filled with lonely super models?

  Wolverine : Cause we're going to save Nightcrawler. You got a problem with that?

  Spider-Man : Oh... sorry. I'll just be quiet now.

  Wolverine : Best news I heard all day.

  Elektra : Why is Nightcrawler in Mephisto's Realm?

  Nick Fury : Dr. Doom somehow forced him to teleport a group of them to that dimension.

  Storm : How is that possible? Nightcrawler's abilities were never that strong.

  Nick Fury : They used a device known as a mutant amplifier. It magnified his powers far beyond the norm.

  Storm : What's this amplifier doing to Kurt?

  Nick Fury : We estimate it's overdriven his powers to the point that it's causing physical damage. You have to move fast or it'll kill him.

  Elektra : Do you know why the Masters of Evil are going to this dimension?

  Nick Fury : No. Any knowledge you could gain would be helpful. So far we've been completely in the dark as to what Doom is up to.

  Wolverine : But Kurt comes first. We ain't risking his life. You got it, bub?

  Nick Fury : I understand, Wolverine. Nightcrawler's safety is the number one priority. So get movin'.

• Spider-Man : Hi, Scorpy. What's up? Attending the annual meeting of psychos incorporated?

  Scorpion : Don't move, Spider-Man. Dum Dum Dugan is in chains and wired with explosives. One word from me and he's history.

  Spider-Man : Okay, okay, I'm not moving... but could you hurry? My suit's riding up and giving me and incredible wedgie.

  Scorpion : Make all your jokes now, Web-Head. Because in a few seconds, the joke will be on you!

• Scorpion : No! Dugan's broken free, stop him!

  Spider-Man : Hi again. Did I come at a bad time?

  Scorpion : Spider-Man, you should be dead!

  Spider-Man : You know, I get that a lot. I guess i'm just not a people person.

  Scorpion : I've had enough! Kill Dugan while I take care of the wall crawling freak.

  Spider-Man : Freak? At least I'm not the one with a prehensile tail.

• [During the Murderworld Mission, if the player's team includes Luke Cage] 

  Arcade : Luke, old buddy, I'm glad to see you're alright. I thought you might die earlier, but here you are, still breathing!

  Luke Cage : Arcade, I've had enough of your sick games. When I'm done with you, you're gonna look like a human jigsaw puzzle.

  Arcade : Why all the hostility, my friend? I just wanted to invite a few super heroes over to break in Murderworld!

  Luke Cage : You give murdering psychos a bad name. You know that?

  Arcade : A word of advice, Luke. You might want to ease up on the name calling - seeing as how I'm controlling a five-ton robot, and you're not!

  Luke Cage : I'll have that junkyard reject of yours beat down in less than five minutes. Then you're all mine, Arcade.

  Arcade : An interesting prediction, but you're not going to live past the three-minute mark! I guarantee it!

• Spider-Man : [leveling up]  I like this!

• Spider-Man : [leveling up]  Wow!

• Arcade : I hope you kids had a fun day at the park. You have no idea how much your Mother and I had to scrimp and save so we could afford to send you here.

• Arcade : You kids are being very naughty. You're all grounded.

• Thor : My friends, these are indeed dark times. The Masters of Evil have overwhelmed the army of Asgard and the only path for reinforcements has been closed off to us - the Bifrost Bridge.

  Captain America : Isn't that how your people travel back and forth between Earth and Asgard?

  Thor : Aye. A great many warriors would return if only the path would open.

  Captain America : How did Doom manage to block off Bifrost?

  Thor : The gates at the end closest to Earth has been closed and barred. It can only be opened from our side. But I warn you - The Wrecking Crew is guarding the gate.

  Spider-Man : The Wrecking Crew? Oooh. Pardon me for not being scared.

  Wolverine : I gotta agree with web-head here. How bad can these jokers be?

  Thor : The Wrecking Crew is not to be taken lightly. They are humans who were mistakenly granted the powers of one of my people. More than once they have sorely tested my powers.

  Captain America : They've almost beat you? Then we better be on our guard.

  Thor : They are formidable opponents. But that is not all - Loki has struck a bargain with Hela, the godness of death. Her minions will also seek to stop us.

  Spider-Man : So we're fighting gods and the undead. Right... Anyone else nervous about our odds here?

  Thor : We must succeed. Without those additional forces, there is little hope for Asgard.

  Storm : Not to worry, Thor. We'll get those gates open.

  Thor : I thank you, my friends. Let us battle on to victory!

• Sabretooth : Okay you little circus freak, what's this place supposed to be? Rarr! Looks like a big pinball machine.

  Arcade : Ooo, you are the smart one, aren't you? As a matter of fact, it is a pinball machine.. I call it 'Sudden Death'!

  Sabretooth : Like the name. Reminds me of a certain Weapon X named Sabretooth. Ever heard of him, Chuckles? I doubt the words sudden death mean as much to you as they do to me.

  Arcade : Oh, no; You should take the name very literally. But don't worry, everyone who's played thinks it's a killer of a game! Now, all you have to do is get 1 million points and you'll win. No one's done it yet, but you could be the first.

  Sabretooth : Great. I'll take your head as my little trophy for winning. Anyone ever tell you you're a total psycho?

  Arcade : My therapist said that once, may he rest in peace; But enough about me, it's game time! On your marks, get set, GO!

• [During the Murderworld mission, if the player's team includes Mr. Fantastic] 

  Arcade : Hi, Reed. May I say you're looking fantastic? I hope you're ready to have some real fun now.

  Mister Fantastic : What is this place, Arcade? It looks like a giant pinball machine.

  Arcade : Ooo, you're the smart one, aren't you? As a matter of fact, it is a pinball machine. I call it 'Sudden Death.'

  Mister Fantastic : Interesting name. I don't suppose it's called that just to make things colorful.

  Arcade : Oh, no. You should take the name very literally, but don't worry. Everyone who's played thinks it's a killer of a game. Now all you have to do is get 1 million points and you'll win! No one's done it yet, but you could be the first!

  Mister Fantastic : Arcade, has anyone ever told you that you're psychotic?

  Arcade : My therapist said that once, may he rest in peace, but enough about me! It's game time! On your mark... get set... GO!

• [During the Asgard mission, if the player's team includes Spider-Man] 

  Spider-Man : Tyr, that's no way to straighten your spine.

  Scorpion : This must be our lucky day. We get to play with the Spider.

  Spider-Man : Well, if it isn't two of my favorite psychos: Scorpion and Lizard. How are you kids doing?

  Lizard : Always the comedian, aren't you, Web-head?

  Spider-Man : Now is that any way to talk to someone who brought you a nice new lily pad to sit on?

  Scorpion : He's a lizard, you moron, not a frog.

  Spider-Man : Oh. Well, how about you, Scorpion? You need a lily pad?

  Lizard : Hey, Scorpion, seeing the Web-slinger reminds me of how much I love to pull the legs off of spiders.

  Scorpion : Me, I just like to stomp 'em and watch 'em twitch.

  Spider-Man : Are you guys making veiled threats? I can't tell, and I think I should really be on the loop on this.

  Lizard : That's it! I've heard enough! Let's shut him up, Scorpion!

• Nick Fury : We're close to the landing zone so I'll be brief. Dum Dum Dugan recently sent a suspicious radio message requesting I meet him at the Omega Base for a report on the latest Super Soldier Serum.

  Captain America : What's so suspicious about that?

  Nick Fury : Dr. Banner was to give the report. The only thing is, Banner has been working on the Gamma Bomb project, not the Super Solider Serum. Dugan would never make a mistake like that. Something's up.

  Storm : What is the Omega Base?

  Nick Fury : It's a mobile lab that's over five stories tall. We use it for field testing experiments.

  Spider-Man : Heh oh, S.H.I.E.L.D.'s is the greatest! Flying aircraft carriers, office buildings on wheels... please, tell me you've got a tunnel that runs from New York to Tokyo?

  Storm : Spider-Man, this is serious. Colonel, is there anything onboard the Omega that would be considered dangerous?

  Nick Fury : If the contents of that vehicle were to fall into the wrong hands, it would be disastrous for all mankind.

  Iron Man : Exactly what are you developing that could threaten the entire planet?

  Nick Fury : That's classified.

  Iron Man : So it's all right for us to save the vehicle, we just can't know what's going on there?

  Nick Fury : Correct. Now if I may continue. The team's mission will be to sneak onboard the Omega and locate Dugan. He should be able to bring you up speed on the situation. Any questions? All right, good luck.

• Hank Pym : How are you doing, Spider-Man?

  Spider-Man : Not so good. I had lunch at Taco Hut; you might want to keep your distance.

• [During the Murderworld Mission, if the player's team includes Elektra] 

  Arcade : Elektra, my little ninja, I hope you don't mind my saying but you seem even more uptight that usual

  Elektra : Put a sock in it, Arcade. I couldn't care less what a murdering scum like you has to say.

  Arcade : See? You've got all that anger bottled up inside. It's not healthy at all, so how about a little dance to relieve that stress?

  Elektra : I won't dance to any tune you're playing.

  Arcade : Oh, I think you might once you hear the music. It's a little something I call Disco Death.

  Elektra : Have you gone insane? Why are you doing this?

  Arcade : It's all for fun... my fun. Now, if you're ready, it's time to choose a partner and get ready to boogie till you drop!

• [Spider-Man, Wolverine, Thor and Captain America find themselves in a white, foggy room after a confrontation with Dr. Doom, who seemingly destroyed them with powers of the Norse God Odin] 

  Spider-Man : Am I dead? Why does heaven smell like a wet dog?

  [looks next to him and sees Wolverine] 

  Spider-Man : Oh, wait. Never mind.

  Wolverine : [growls at Spider-Man] 

  [the booming sound of Uatu the Watcher sounds behind the heroes. Wolverine unsheathes his claws from the surprise] 

  Uatu : I am Uatu, the Watcher. I prevented your deaths, for you are needed to save this universe. Listen closely, mortals. Doctor Doom's unrestrained use of Odin's power will soon tear the fabric of reality beyond repair. I have broken my sacred vow to only observe so that I may give you this one chance to save your world.

  Thor : Who can stand against the power of Odin? Even the Gods of mighty Asgard have fallen!

  Captain America : Doom's power seems unlimited, but you must know a way to stop him.

  Uatu : Yes, there is a chance. But, it will be difficult. First, you must acquire a shard of the M'Kraan Crystal, a Shi'ar gem of fantastic power. Next, you must acquire another object of great power, and it will take all your strength and skill. You must face the world-eater known as Galactus.

• Dark Thor : Halt, for you now face the might of Thor, son of Odin.

  Dark Spider-Man : And don't forget me, your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.

  Active Hero : You're not Thor or Spider-Man. You're Doom's evil copies of them.

  Dark Spider-Man : I prefer to think of us as the next generation-bigger and badder.

  Active Hero : If you really think you are Thor, then give us your hammer so we can free Odin.

  Dark Thor : Nay thee I say. Dr. Doom has decreed that my father must remain imprisoned, so there he must stay.

  Active Hero : Of course, you're welcome to try and take the hammer from him. I dare ya. Come on, you know you want to.

• Dark Spider-Man : Hey, Blade, what do you think of my new place? The winters are mild, but the summers are hotter than heck.

  Blade : You might have his lame sense of humor, but you're not Spider-Man.

  Dark Spider-Man : There is no denying it, Blade. You're a sharp one - a real cut above the rest.

  Blade : What have you done with Storm?

  Dark Spider-Man : Nothing horrible. At least not yet. But once I'm finished with you, I'll have some time to get creative.

  Blade : Think again, because your time is up.

• Hank Pym : How things, Spider-Man?

  Spider-Man : Not so good, I think my costume shrunk in the dryer.

• Nick Fury : Oh, it's you, Spider-Man.

  Spider-Man : Heya, Nick. How ya doin,' pal?

• Hank Pym : Hey, Spider-Man? What's the word?

  Spider-Man : Grease.

• Spider-Man : Are we battling super models, this time?

• Spider-Man : Is my mask on straight?

• Arcade : I hope you kids had a fun day at the park. You have no idea how much your Mother and I had to scrimp and save so we could afford to send you here.

  Active Hero : Arcade, fun time's over. Give up while you still can.

  Arcade : Well, I can see someone's getting cranky. But that's okay, I've got a little something here that should quiet you down... permanently!

  Active Hero : Bring it, Arcade. We'll tear that tin toy of yours apart.

  Arcade : All right, you asked for it. But remember, this is gonna hurt you way more than it's gonna hurt me.

• Arcade : You kids are being very naughty. You're all grounded.

  Active Hero : We're in no mood for your jokes - Talk, Arcade. Where's Nightcrawler?

  Arcade : I don't know. Maybe he ran away and joined the circus.

  Active Hero : I guess we're going to have to pry you out of that robot and mess up that nice white suit of yours.

  Arcade : I don't know. I don't know, okay? Dr. Doom wanted to use the Mutant Amplifier on him.

  Active Hero : Keep talking.

  Arcade : Doom used the Mutant Amplifier on Nightcrawler to open portals to Mephisto's Realm. And before you ask, I don't know why he wanted to go there.

  Active Hero : Then we're done here. We better get back to headquarters.

• Captain America : Attack any target?

  Spider-Man : Sure.

• Spider-Man : I won? Oh, yeah, of course.

• Spider-Man : So do I win a car or something?

• Spider-Man : You guys want me to give you a few tips?

• Spider-Man : Well would you look at that, I win!

• Spider-Man : Just another day for your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man!

• Spider-Man : Iceman, you're the coolest!

• Spider-Man : Elektra, that was great fight.

• Spider-Man : You know Deadpool, it's nice to meet someone who tells worst jokes than me.

• Spider-Man : Great job in that last battle, Human Torch!

• Spider-Man : You're gonna lose your bad guy merit bad for that!

• Spider-Man : I bet this gets brought up at my next review.

• Spider-Man : [Low on health]  I could use some health.

• Spider-Man : [Low on power]  I don't have enough energy for that!

• Spider-Man : Someone could have warned me?

• Spider-Man : Ain't gonna happen!

• Spider-Man : [Low on health]  Your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man needs health.

• Spider-Man : I'd hurt my back trying to lift that!

• Spider-Man : Come on, you can do better than that!

• Spider-Man : You are a sad excuse for a bad guy.

• Spider-Man : [Low on health]  Hey, how about some heath here.

• Spider-Man : You mind standing up a little faster?

• Spider-Man : [Low on power]  I don't have enough power!

• Spider-Man : [after defeating an enemy]  That's right, I won, fear me.

• Spider-Man : [after defeating an enemy]  You're lucky I went easy on you.

• Spider-Man : [after defeating an enemy]  Mind if I do my happy dance?

• Spider-Man : [after defeating an enemy]  I hope this wasn't your day job.

• Spider-Man : [after defeating an enemy]  How embarrassing for you!

• Spider-Man : Nope!