- [Haruhi has been told that her plot to frame the Computer Brigade leader of harassing Mikruru will fail because so many witnesses will deny it]
- Haruhi Suzumiya: Then I'll tell everyone you thugs gained up on her and
- [bleep]
- Haruhi Suzumiya: ed her!
- Haruhi Suzumiya: [forcing Mikuru to change into a bunny girl costume] Come on put it on, get dressed!
- Mikuru Asahina: I don't want to.
- Haruhi Suzumiya: Shut up and strip!
- Mikuru Asahina: [holding a gun] You should never shoot this while pointing at other people, you should only shoot empty cans with it!
- Kyon: Okay. Asking somebody how long they believed in Santa Claus is so stupid, you can't even consider it a topic suitable for idle conversation. And if you still want to know how long I believed in some old fat guy who wears a funky red suit, I can tell you this: I never believed in him.