- [first lines]
- Auntie: Hem, ahem.
- Billy Hardcastle: My, it's a right bow, is that. I'll bet tha could really overcharge for a bow like that.
- Auntie: Make me an offer.
- Billy Hardcastle: Ah, if I do I'm dead. The wife wants a new table lamp.
- Auntie: Well, that's amazing! Funnily enough, this bow comes complete with a *free* table lamp.
- Billy Hardcastle: That is amazing. Think I'm being sucked in here.
- Auntie: Belonged to a champion archer, won all the competitions.
- Billy Hardcastle: Accurate, is it?
- Auntie: Accurate! Huh. He used to post his letters with it from his bedroom window. And they lived three hundred yards from the nearest postbox.
- Billy Hardcastle: Wrapped 'em round his arrows, did he?
- Auntie: Ah, well, *they* were stamped with his own address; the postman delivered them back.
- Billy Hardcastle: Crafty! So how come he sold this amazing bow?
- Auntie: Arthritis. In his elbow. Affected his aim. Shot a traffic warden and had to flee from all the messages of congratulation.
- Billy Hardcastle: Is it a good free table lamp? The wife wants summat different.
- Auntie: Well, the difference is you'll have your bow.
- Billy Hardcastle: Tha can't argue with sound logic.