Biff Baker, U.S.A. (TV Series)

Counterfeit Plates (1952)

Alan Hale Jr.: Biff Baker

Quotes 

• [singing in a hotel room] 

  Biff Baker : Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home.

  Louise Baker : You're a fine one to mumble - we've never had a home.

• Louise Baker : Don't you ever get tired of living out of a suitcase?

  Biff Baker : Well, sometimes, but we have big suitcases.

• Biff Baker : Honey, I caught up with a letter from the folks last week. They said that little white house up in Connecticut still had a "For Sale" sign on it.

  Louise Baker : Honey, I don't want a house - I want a home... and that takes two people.

• Biff Baker : I haven't given you much a home life... dragging you onto planes and trains, hauling you from one hotel to another all over the world. I've often wondered how you could take it so long.

  Louise Baker : Because I'm lucky. Just think, half the people of the world would jump at the chance to travel like we do!

  Biff Baker : Maybe, but being on a permanent Cook's tour isn't really living.

  Louise Baker : But being together is.

• Biff Baker : We didn't see you at dinner.

  Senor Rodriguez : I was not hungry... headache.

  Louise Baker : That makes us even. You got yours before dinner.

• [discussing Senor Rodriguez] 

  Tommy Allen : Kind of a queer duck, isn't he?

  Biff Baker : First importer I ever met that didn't want to talk shop.

  Louise Baker : Biff, there's something wrong with that man. He gives me the creeps.

  Biff Baker : Well, he's no beauty.

  Louise Baker : He has the face of a man that could commit murder.

  Tommy Allen : Hey, you two sound like a couple of mystery writers! Quit poaching - that's my racket.

• Tommy Allen : How about a game of three-handed cards.

  Biff Baker : Your deck I suppose?

  Tommy Allen : Well, naturally. You don't think I make a living writing, do you?