- Prosecutor: Is it a lie? Or is it the truth!
- Keisha Marie: No, it's a lie. You need some better questions, man.
- Prosecutor: Oh really? Or maybe I need worse questions!
- Gavin: Keisha, I know someone who loves you.
- Keisha Marie: Is it Spencer?
- Gavin: No, his name is Jesus Christ.
- Keisha Marie: Okay, we're done.
- Gavin: No, wait. I'm serious
- Keisha Marie: Sorry, that's more of Latrina's sort of thing.
- Miss Gosby: Miss Chowdhury was the only woman out of 10 staff members. That's an insult to our intelligence, that is.
- Carol Jackson: Yeah, it's only about four percent or something.
- Davis: The food at this school is lame. It tastes like your mother made it.
- Jamal: Yeah, that bitch is lame.
- [the lunch lady looks at Jamal, unimpressed]
- Jamal: Hello, mum.
- Keisha Marie: I told you, you got the wrong bitch. I'm J.Lo.
- Police Officer: Obstructing a police inquiry is an offense.
- Keisha Marie: How do I know you is the real police?
- Police Officer: Here is my warrant card.
- Keisha Marie: How do I know that's a real warrant card?
- Police Officer: [reading] Authorized by the Metropolitan Police Authority.
- Keisha Marie: How do I know that's a real police authority?
- Police Officer: Because... look, Keisha, we've met about three hundred times.
- Keisha Marie: Yeah, but maybe someone's killed you and ripped off your face, and put it on their face.
- Police Officer: That hasn't happened, Keisha.
- Keisha Marie: Says you.