- Red Green: [complaining about shoddy mailing services that often cause your parcels to arrive battered and damaged] And it's no good to write "THIS END UP" on the package - that only means that THEY will decide how THIS ENDS UP!
- Red Green: One of the things that changes as you get older is your attitude towards parties. That's because after you've been married for a while, you realize that men and women have totally different approaches to them. The woman wants to know who's coming to the party. The man just wants to know who's bringing the beer. The woman cleans up whatever is lying around the home so the guests will think she keeps a neat house. The man actually leaves tools lying around the home so the guests will help build a deck. The woman wants to know what's going on with everybody. The man avoids that information. It's safer. It prevents him from blurting out something he's not supposed to know in front of someone who's not supposed to hear it, especially if that someone is carrying one of the tools I mentioned earlier. So my advice is when you get to our age, stop going to parties. Bringing friends together for the sole purpose of letting loose is not a good idea. People are like nuts and bolts: they don't work well loose; there's too much play. If you want to have a wingding, you're better off in a bar full of strangers than a house full of friends. You want to go where the lights are low and people are all the same; you want to go where nobody knows your name.