- Richard Rickover: Hey, Beaver, your mom is ok. How did she ever get so pretty?
- Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: I don't know. I think she was that way when my father got her.
- Richard Rickover: [in Beaver's bedroom] Hey, Beaver, you got a horse?
- Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: Nah.
- Richard Rickover: Then how come you've got horseshoes?
- Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: For good luck.
- Richard Rickover: Well, heck, if you had good luck, you'd have a horse.
- Ward Cleaver: Well, how was the fishing trip?
- Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: Gee, it was real neat, Dad. We didn't catch any fish, but we saw a man slip on a wet rock and we heard almost everything he said.
- Eddie Haskell: [seeing that Beaver is worried about ruining Wally's suit coat] Boy, you're scared, huh?
- Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: Well, it's not only that, but I wouldn't want to do anything to hurt Wally for anything in the whole world.
- Eddie Haskell: Boy, you're not only scared, you're sloppy.
- Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: [asking Wally about a party he went to] Did you take all those records, and dance with girls?
- Wally Cleaver: Yeah, I danced with some girls.
- Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: Well, did they have any good stuff to eat?
- Wally Cleaver: Yeah.
- Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: Wally, I'm your brother, so you can tell me this: Which do you like better, dancin' with girls, or eatin'?
- Wally Cleaver: Well, with some girls I'd rather be dancin', but other girls, when I'm dancin' with them, I'd rather be eatin'.