- Crypt Keeper: Happy Crypt Day to me! Oh Happy Crypt Day to me! Yeah!
- [notices the viewers]
- Crypt Keeper: Hello boils and ghouls, I'm glad you can make it to my Crypt Day party.
- [looks at his Crypt Day card and reads it]
- Crypt Keeper: Just a cheery Crypt Day wish to let you know we're trusting. But each and every passing year will make you more disgusting.
- [puts down the card]
- Crypt Keeper: Ahh, thanks Mom!
- [hears a growl coming from a box]
- Crypt Keeper: I'm dying to open my presents, but I'll just have to wait until after our terror tale. It's about another birthday boy who had to wait eons for his well-preserved present. I call it "The Cave Man."
- Crypt Keeper: Well, Peter certainly got what he wanted for his birthday. But as for Orwell, you might say he's out in the cold. Perhaps after he's done cooling his heels, he won't be such a drip anymore.
- [some beastly arms emerge from the present, grabs the Crypt Day cake, and pulls it into the present to eat it]
- Crypt Keeper: Now that really takes the cake!