- Maddie Fitzpatrick: [to Zack and Cody] Hey, guys. So, how'd the summer hunt job go?
- Cody Martin: I tell you, it's tough to secure employment in an economic climate where interest rates are climbing and large cap stocks are fluctuating wildly.
- Zack Martin: Plus, we got turned down by Taco Schmaco.
- Maddie Fitzpatrick: Well, Senor Schmaco does like employees to see over the counter.
- Zack Martin: I am King Midas. Everything I touch turns to gold!
- Cody Martin: You really need to work on that low self-esteem thing.
- Cody Martin: Zack, you told me you booked two dancers who looked like they were from the '60s, not two dancers in their 60s!
- Zack Martin: Well, they looked great in the pictures.
- Cody Martin: You didn't notice the brontosaurus in the background?
- Zack Martin: [to Cody] Who turned our club into a success?
- Cody Martin: You.
- Zack Martin: And who was right about spending money to make money?
- Cody Martin: You.
- Zack Martin: And when we were 5, who convinced you that if you ate your toenails, a foot would grow on your stomach?
- Cody Martin: You.
- Zack Martin: And yet you still doubt me.
- Zack Martin: All right, Max, dance with as many guys as possible because the more they sweat, the more drinks they'll buy.
- Max: What's in it for me?
- Zack Martin: Ten bucks and a big, old kiss from Zack.
- Max: I'll take the cash. Hold the lips.
- Agnes: [to Zack & Cody] I want you to know, people are going to tell you that you really messed up. Last night was a disaster and you made fools of yourselves. I just wanted to say I'm one of those people.