Saved by the Bell (TV Series)

Save the Max (1990)

Tiffani Thiessen: Kelly Kapowski

Quotes 

• Zack : Goo-oo-oo-oo-ood morning, Bayside! Hey, and all you kids cuttin' school in the Palisades and at the beach, this is Wolfman Zack.

  [Points to Screech, who then howls like a wolf] 

  Zack : Hey, it's Bayside's freshest, hottest, hippest new station, KKTY-FM, Tiger Radio!

  [Points to Screech, who then roars like a tiger] 

  Jessie : [Cuts to Jessie's segment]  Bad food hits Bayside, students hit bathrooms. This is Jessie Spano for KKTY News. I caught up with Mr. Belding running out of the cafeteria today, and he assured me that green meat would no longer be served.

  Lisa : [Cuts to Lisa's segment]  Hi, this is Lisa, your Galloping Gossip, with everyone you wanna know that's none of your business. Flash! Debbie DeMarco's new curves came with Debbie's new sweater.

  Kelly Kapowski : [Cuts to Kelly's segment]  Hello, this is Kelly Desire. It's evening, the candles are lit, and you're with the one you love. All that's missing is that special romantic song.

  [Points to Screech, who puts on a rock 'n' roll record, she grimaces] 

  Screech : [Cuts to Screech's segment; he speaks with a strange accent]  Thunder and lightning raged outside the old Victorian house. There was a scream...

  [Screams] 

  Screech : Evelyn's heart pounded...

  [Imitates heart beat by hitting his chest] 

  Screech : as she slowly opened the bedroom door.

  [Imitates creaking door] 

  Screech : She saw an axe, and recognised the face of...

  Zack : [Stops background music]  Well, that's all the time we have today. Tune in tomorrow for another excitement installment of...

  Screech : Screech's Mystery Theater!

  Zack : And now, look alive, sports fans, 'cause on deck it's Tiger Radio's sportiest reporter, A.C. Slater!

  Albert Clifford 'A.C.' Slater : [In a stilted monotone]  Hey. Thanks, Wolfman. Okay. First things first. Let's check out the old scoreboard, huh? I mean, hey, ha, gimme a break, it's not *that* old, right?

  [Honks horn, Kelly jumps] 

  Albert Clifford 'A.C.' Slater : Anyway. In local, uh, high school action, it was - it was, Bayside 5, Valley 4. I guess that means we won, right Math majors?

  [Honks horn again] 

  Albert Clifford 'A.C.' Slater : [a while later, the rest of the gang are all clearly bored and tired]  This *is* A.C. Slater. And just remember, fans, in the airport of life, sports is just the baggage. Think about it.

  [Honks horn, Zack puts music on] 

  Albert Clifford 'A.C.' Slater : Right. So what do you think?

  Zack : [All exchange glances]  Uh... we're thinkin' about it.

  Albert Clifford 'A.C.' Slater : See, Preppie. I told you I was good.

  [Leaves] 

  Zack : Hey, guys, I think I know what'd help Slater.

  Jessie , Lisa , Kelly Kapowski : What?

  Zack : A muzzle.

• Lisa : [Talking about Slater's sports broadcast on the radio]  Do you think we should be honest and tell him he stinks?

  Jessie : How can we without hurting his feelings?

  Screech : Why don't we just wave a skunk in front of him?

  Zack : You know, Screech, for once you have a good idea.

  Kelly : We can't do that. This is Slater's dream.

  Jessie : You know, maybe we're being overcritical because we expected him to be better.

  Lisa : I hope you're right.

  Kelly : I bet the average listener thinks he's just fine.

  [Spots three guys walking past the table] 

  Kelly : Excuse me, what do you guys think of Tiger Radio?

  Student #1 : Radical!

  Student #2 : Really cool!

  Student #3 : The best, man!

  Zack : And, uh, what do you think of our sports reporter, A.C. Slater?

  Student #1 : Awful!

  Student #2 : The worst!

  Student #3 : Someone should wave a skunk in front of him.

  Screech : [Looking self satisfied]  See?

• Kelly : Wow, I haven't seen Max that depressed since the time he made his dog disappear and forgot how to bring Fluffy back.

  Zack : I know. I wonder whatever happened to that dog?

  Screech : [All except Screech stop and look at their hamburgers in disgust, Screech bites into his]  What?

• Zack : Now, that's it. We've gotta get rid of Slater.

  Jessie : Why do we have to get rid of him?

  Kelly : Yeah, why don't we help him?

  Zack : Hey, good idea. We'll staple his lips.

• Jessie : [Lisa and Kelly appear with several copies of the school paper]  The school paper just reviewed us!

  Lisa : What did they say?

  Kelly Kapowski : I dunno, I'm too nervous to look. What if he didn't like my outfit?

  Lisa : Lisa, we're on the radio, remember? He can't see us.

  Zack : [Each take a paper]  Hey, look at this:

  [Reading aloud] 

  Zack : "Tiger Radio really cooks when Wolfman Zack is on the prowl." Hey.

  Lisa : [Reading aloud]  "Jessie Spano has a nose for news. And I smell a winner."

  Jessie : [Reading aloud]  "Kelly Desire's voice could heat your jacuzzi. The girl is H-O-T."

  Kelly Kapowski : [Reading aloud]  "Lisa's Galloping Gossip is off to a fast start. She's funny, charming, and a great dresser."

  [Looks at Jessie] 

  Kelly Kapowski : See?

  Zack : This guy really liked us.

  Jessie : Uh, most of us.

  [Reading aloud] 

  Jessie : "A.C. Slater stinks."

  Lisa : [Reading aloud]  "Someone should wave a skunk in front of him"?

  Kelly Kapowski : Poor Slater.

  Albert Clifford 'A.C.' Slater : [Slater appears]  Hey, guys! What's up?

  [the others move toward the lockers and stand with their backs to them, hiding the papers] 

  Albert Clifford 'A.C.' Slater : What are you doing?

  Kelly Kapowski , Zack : Uh...

  Kelly Kapowski : We're scratching our backs!

  Zack : Yeah, you know, there's an itch going through the school.

  Albert Clifford 'A.C.' Slater : What?

  Screech : Hey, guys! The station just got reviewed!

  [Zack groans] 

  Albert Clifford 'A.C.' Slater : Oh, really? What'd he say about me?

  Screech : You stink!