SpongeBob SquarePants (TV Series)

Club SpongeBob/My Pretty Seahorse (2002)

Rodger Bumpass: Squidward Tentacles, Fish 4, Teen 1

Photos 

Quotes 

• Squidward : Why must every eleven minutes of my life be filled with misery?

• Squidward : [to Magic Conch]  Could I have something to eat?

  Magic Conch : No.

  Squidward : Could I have something to eat?

  Magic Conch : No.

  Squidward : Could I have something to eat?

  Magic Conch : No.

  Squidward : Can't you say anything else but no?

  Magic Conch : Try asking again.

  Squidward : Could I have something to eat?

  Magic Conch : [insulting, sarcastic tone]  No.

• Squidward : I order the food, you cook the food. We do that for 40 years, and then we die. That seems like a good deal to me, what do you say?

• Squidward : [crying]  Oh, why must every eleven minutes of my life be filled with misery? WHY?

• Squidward : [to Krabs]  Why don't you go and ask CowBob RanchPants and his friend Sir Eat-A-Lot?

  Mr. Krabs : SpongeBob. What's the meaning of all these nicknames?

• Squidward : Magic Conch, uh, I was wondering... uh, should I have the spaghetti or the turkey?

  Magic Conch : Neither.

  Squidward : Oh. Then how about the soup?

  Magic Conch : I don't think so.

  Squidward : Could I have anything to eat?

  Magic Conch : No.

  Squidward : No? What do you mean "no"? I'm starving here!

  Patrick Star : [taking Magic Conch]  Here, let me try. Magic Conch, could Squidward have some of this yummy, delicious, super-terrific sandwich?

  Magic Conch : No.

  Patrick Star : Hmm... Could *I* have this yummy, delicious, super-terrific sandwich?

  Magic Conch : Yes.

  Patrick Star : All right!

  [inhales the sandwich in one gulp like a vacuum] 

  Patrick Star : Sorry, Squidward.

• SpongeBob : Oh, cheer up, Squid. It could be worse.

  Patrick : Yeah, you could be bald and have a big nose.

  Squidward : Well, this is the end.

• Squidward Tentacles : Shut your half-wit pieholes!

• SpongeBob SquarePants : Good morning, Squidward. Lovely spring day, isn't it?

  Squidward : Hmph.

  SpongeBob SquarePants : Have you said hello to the flowers today?

  Squidward : Hello.

  [the flowers hiss at Squidward; he shrieks and runs back inside] 

  SpongeBob SquarePants : I didn't know Squidward had hay fever. I shall do him a kindness and plant some hypoallergenic flowers.