- SpongeBob SquarePants: [reading dumpster] Krabs is a -
- [dolphin chirps]
- Janitor: [annoyed] Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Well, sometimes, but not... recently.
- [Squidward is teaching art to SpongeBob]
- Squidward: Now, repeat after me. I have no talent.
- SpongeBob SquarePants: I have no talent.
- Squidward: Mr. Tentacles has all the talent.
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Mr. Tentacles has all the talent.
- Squidward: If I'm lucky, some of Mr. Tentacles' talent may rub off on me.
- SpongeBob SquarePants: If I'm lucky, Mr. Talent will rub his tentacles all over my art.
- [smiles big with his teeth while Squidward stares at him]
- Squidward: Whatever.
- SpongeBob SquarePants: MR. KRABS! MR. KRABS! MR. KRABS!
- Mr. Krabs: What? What? What?
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Patrick! Patrick! Patrick!
- Mr. Krabs: Yes? Yes? Yes?
- SpongeBob SquarePants: He said, he said, he said...
- Mr. Krabs: On with it boy!
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Me and Patrick were playing Eels and Escalators and he was going up, up, up, and I had to ride the eel and then we ran, and Patrick, he said some things.
- Mr. Krabs: What kind of things?
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Well, he said...
- Mr. Krabs: Yes...
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Well, let's just say he said a certain word that you said he shouldn't say and this particular word happens to be word #11 on the list of thirteen words you said shouldn't be said.
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Well, see you in the AM, Mr. Krabs.
- Mr. Krabs: Hold on there, SpongeBob! Take that pile of filth out with ya.
- SpongeBob SquarePants: [Gasps] Mr. Krabs! You shouldn't talk about Squidward like that.
- Squidward: [Holding a trash bag] He means this filth, you loon!
- Mr. Krabs: [hears Spongebob and Patrick using the curse word] Do my ears deceive me? You two should be ashamed! Time to take out the trash.
- [picks SpongeBob and Patrick up by their pants and carries them outside the Krusty Krab]
- Mr. Krabs: You two need to be taught a lesson. I thought I made it clear. Never, and I mean, never use number 11 or any of the 13 bad words! Now the both of youse wait right here. I'll be back.
- [walks back in Krusty Krab]
- Patrick Star: What's going to happen to us?
- SpongeBob SquarePants: We'll probably get forty lashes!
- Patrick Star: Oh no!
- [imagines himself with forty eyelashes]
- SpongeBob: Attention, customers! Today's special is a
- [dolphin chirp]
- SpongeBob: Krabby Patty served in a greasy
- [dolphin chirp]
- SpongeBob: sauce and grilled to
- [dolphin chirp]
- SpongeBob: perfection! And don't forget to ask us to
- [dolphin chirp]
- SpongeBob: the
- [dolphin chirp]
- SpongeBob: fries! It'll be our
- [dolphin chirp]
- SpongeBob: pleasure!
- SpongeBob: [Squidward glares at SpongeBob and Patrick] Hi, Squidward! How the
- [dolphin chirp]
- SpongeBob: are you?
- Patrick Star: Nice
- [dolphin chirp]
- Patrick Star: day, isn't it, Squidward?
- Monty P. Moneybags: Who's responsible for this?
- Squidward: [angrily] From now on, it's his responsibility!
- [puts his artist's hat onto the janitor]
- Squidward: Good day to you, sirs!
- [storms off]
- Monty P. Moneybags: [to the janitor] You, sir, are the greatest artist who ever lived!
- SpongeBob SquarePants: You, the teacher to my pupil? This isn't art class, it's heaven.
- Squidward: Yeah. Well, grab a little piece of heaven and sit down.
- SpongeBob SquarePants: These hands were not meant to create. They only destroy. I can't look at them!
- [SpongeBob's hands separate from his arms and hide in a can; Squidward retreives them]
- Squidward: Come on, SpongeBob. You have a pair of yellow dandies here. And with my help, they can be tools of beauty.
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Really?
- Squidward: Really.
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Really?
- Squidward: Really.
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Really?
- Squidward: [impatient] Really!
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Wow!... Really?
- Squidward: Between you and me, this isn't my best work. Why don't you come back tomorrow and I'll have something that will really knock your socks off?
- Monty P. Moneybags: Between you and me, I'm not wearing socks!
- [begins laughing]
- Patrick Star: [after hearing about the number of bad words] That's a lot of
- [dolphin chirp]
- Patrick Star: in' bad words!
- [Spongebob and Patrick have just found out Mr. Krabs has used all 13 "bad words" after accidentally hitting his foot with a rock]
- SpongeBob: We're gonna tell your mom, Mr. Krabs!
- Mr. Krabs: No! Please! Not me mommy!
- [Spongebob and Patrick run off, laughing]
- Mr. Krabs: Wait, please don't tell me mother! I don't think her little old heart can take it!
- [Spongebob, Patrick and Mr. Krabs arrive at Mr. Krabs' mother's home, where they pound on the front door]
- SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star: Mama Krabs! Mama Krabs!
- Mama Krabs: [opening door] Well, hello there!
- [Spongebob, Patrick and Mr. Krabs all explain the situation at the same time, swearing numerous times as they do so]
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Mama Krabs, he said
- [points at Patrick; dolphin chirp]
- SpongeBob SquarePants: and then he said
- [points at Mr. Krabs; dolphin chirps]
- SpongeBob SquarePants: and he said
- [points at Patrick with both arms and one leg; dolphin chirps]
- SpongeBob SquarePants: again and he said
- [seal barks]
- SpongeBob SquarePants: , and then he screamed at the top of his voice
- [foghorn blows]
- SpongeBob SquarePants: !
- Patrick Star: [overlapping] It was terrible.
- SpongeBob SquarePants: And he...
- Mr. Krabs: [overlapping, angrily] Gah, they're a bunch of
- [horn honks]
- Mr. Krabs: liars!
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Mrs. Krabs, he didn't care! Such a stream of...
- [seagull caws, foghorn, ship's bell]
- Patrick Star: It was terrible!
- SpongeBob SquarePants: ...I have ever heard in my days!
- Mama Krabs: [shocked] Oh, dear! My poor old heart.
- [faints]
- Mr. Krabs: [gasps] Oh, dear Mother! What have these foul-mouthed heathens done to you?
- [takes a coin out of her pocket]
- Mr. Krabs: You two should be ashamed! Making an old lady faint with your sailor talk!
- Mama Krabs: [waking up] You should *all* be ashamed. And if you're going to talk like sailors, then you're going to *work* like sailors.
- [as punishment for swearing in Mama Krabs' presence, Spongebob, Patrick and Mr. Krabs are put to work painting Mama Krabs' house for her]
- Mama Krabs: I guess you scallywags have earned a glass of lemonade.
- [laughs, then stubs her foot on a rock]
- Mama Krabs: YEOW! My
- [Klaxon horn]
- Mama Krabs: foot!
- [everyone gasps in shock]
- Mr. Krabs: Mother!
- Mama Krabs: What? It's Old Man Jenkins and his jalopy.
- Old Man Jenkins: [driving by] Howdy, Mrs. K!
- [honks horn]
- Old Man Jenkins: [everyone laughs]