- SpongeBob SquarePants: [Draws on the sand] It's a jellyfish.
- Patrick: Pretty good, SpongeBob, but it's lacking basic construction, and your perspective leaves a lot to be desired.
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Everybody's a critic.
- [the drawing comes to life]
- Patrick: SpongeBob, your drawing's coming to life!
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Now that's more like it, Mr. Critic.
- Patrick: No, I mean it's swimming away.
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Do you know what that means?
- Patrick: Your art can never hang at a museum.
- SpongeBob SquarePants: He's dropped the pencil. Now's our chance. On the count of three, we'll jump up and surprise him.
- Patrick: Oh, boy! A surprise party! Is it his birthday?
- [Suddenly DoodleBob bursts in and lifts SpongeBob over his head]
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Patrick! Patrick! Do something!
- Patrick: Happy birthday!
- [DoodleBob tosses SpongeBob]
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Aaah!
- Patrick: [Gives DoodleBob a rock] Here's your present.
- [DoodleBob hits Patrick over the head with rock]
- Patrick: You're welcome.
- [first lines]
- Narrator: [he looks at a man drawing some strokes] Well, well, what is this? Ah, the artist at sea. Let us watch and see the fruits of his struggle.
- Narrator: [he gives an idea] Oh, it seems as if inspiration has struck.
- Artist: Hmm... ah!
- [kisses his pencil, then draws some more strokes. He hums something, but accidentally throws his pencil into the sea. It sinks in the water until it's out of sight]
- Artist: The pencil!
- [searches for it in the sea]
- Artist: What...? No, no!
- Narrator: [after the artist's pencil falls into the water] The artist has learned the first lesson of the sea: Always bring a spare pencil.
- Artist: NOOOOOOOOO!
- SpongeBob SquarePants: There he is.
- Patrick: He's hideous! He makes me sick just looking at him. Those big, bulgy eyes, that square body, those two buck teeth, and that stupid tie!
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Uh... ahem.
- Patrick: [Embarrassed] Oh, but it looks good on you, SpongeBob.
- [after struggling with DoodleBob over the pencil, it breaks with SpongeBob holding the point and DoodleBob with the eraser]
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Well, Doodle, it looks like this is a draw.
- [DoodleBob sharpens his half with his teeth]
- SpongeBob SquarePants: You've made your point. No matter. I was voted most artistic in high school.
- [the pencil slips from his hand and flies out the window]
- Squidward: [Off screen] Ouch! SpongeBob, you're gonna pay for that!
- SpongeBob SquarePants: I think it was most clumsy.
- Plankton: What is he doing? Those tears? And the show tunes? Why isn't he making the patties? Forget it! I'm going with Plan B. I'm putting his brain on the robot chef.
- Computer: You know that never works. The answer is simple. To get to the SpongeBob, you must show him compassion and understanding. Then he'll give you what you want.
- Plankton: Will you be quiet? I'm thinking. I've got it! To get to the SpongeBob, I'll show him compassion and understanding. Then he'll give me what I want.
- Mr. Krabs: I'm afraid you don't work here anymore.
- Squidward: Please tell me this isn't a joke.
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Go ahead! Tell him! Tell him all about your cruel, sick joke!
- Plankton: As much as I love cruel, sick jokes, I'm afraid he's not joking. You work for me now!
- Patrick: My turn!
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Be careful, Patrick. Being an artist is a heavy responsibility. Each work of art is like a child, and must be treated as such.
- Patrick: Come on, I was just gonna draw a cartoon.
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Okay, why didn't you say so?
- Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob. What's with all the ruckus?
- SpongeBob SquarePants: See for yourself, Patrick.
- [Points to DoodleBob trapped in a piece of paper pinned to the wall]
- Patrick: It's the evil doodle!
- SpongeBob SquarePants: No, not evil. He was just a two-dimesional creature lost in our three-dimensional aquatic world, longing for a purpose.
- Patrick: So... he's a drawing?
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Exactly. See how happy he is?
- Patrick: [Looking at a picture of SpongeBob] I still say he's kinda freaky-looking.
- SpongeBob SquarePants: [DoodleBob advances at him with the eraser of the magic pencil] Be careful with that thing! Who knows what'll happen?
- [DoodleBob erases SpongeBob's nose]
- SpongeBob SquarePants: I knows.
- [SpongeBob feared that Patrick had died]
- SpongeBob SquarePants: PATRICK! YOU'RE ALIVE!
- Patrick: [after a pause] I am?
- Plankton: [reading a book] And then the littlest sea elf said.
- [a huge drop of drool lands on his head]
- Plankton: Huh? What the?
- [looks up to find SpongeBob sleeping]
- Plankton: [growling in frustration grabs a hammer but restrains himself] steady, steady Plankton this would all pay off soon enough
- [throws the hammer away and SpongeBob wakes up]
- Plankton: Hey there sleepyhead so what do you say?
- Plankton: [becomes furious with the statement growling in rage] I COMMAND YOU TO MAKE ME A KRABBY PATTY THIS INSTANT!
- SpongeBob SquarePants: [yawns] I don't really feel like it.
- [grabs a cup of juice and starts drinking it]
- Plankton: Me too, hey you know what would really hit the spot? Why don't you whip up a couple of Krabby Patties.
- Plankton: [reading a book] And then the littlest sea elf said...
- [a drop of droll falls on his head]
- Plankton: Huh?
- [looks up and sees SpongeBob sleeping, Plankton gets angry and is about to bash SpongeBob on the head with a mallet]
- Plankton: Steady steady Plankton this will all pay off soon enough.
- [throws the mallet away making a loud crash SpongeBob wakes up]
- Plankton: [in a gentle voice] Hey there sleepyhead what do you say?
- SpongeBob SquarePants: All the preparation is making me hungry.
- Plankton: Me too, say you know what would really hit the spot? Why don't you whio up a couple of Krabby Patties.
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Hmmm, I'm kind of in the mood for tacos.
- Plankton: That's really funny SpongeBob, but seriously why don't you make the Krabby Patties.
- SpongeBob SquarePants: [yawns] Nah I don't really feel like it.
- Plankton: But I don't understand?
- [SpongeBob grabs his drink and starts drinking it while Plankton begins to remind him of what he did]
- Plankton: You got the grill and the spatula and the comfy chair
- [becomes frustrated]
- Plankton: I rubbed your putrid feat!
- SpongeBob SquarePants: [in a snarky voice] Tell you what half-pint why don't you ask me later.
- Plankton: [growls in rage and angrily scolds SpongeBob for the comment he just said] I command you to make me a patty this instant!
- SpongeBob SquarePants: [puts the drink down and hops off the chair, with arms crossed] No!
- Plankton: Don't backsass me!
- SpongeBob SquarePants: [mocking Plankton] Na Na Na Na Na!
- Plankton: What?
- SpongeBob SquarePants: [sticks his tongue out and blows a raspberry]
- Plankton: [fed up] That's it Mister, you've just lost your brain privileges!