You know how Jay Ward was known for fractured fairy tales? Well, the makers of Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog just outright mutilated them. Here's another episode that never sat well with me, and I just had to address it. It was produced toward the end of the series, in fact, this is the series finale. The final episode made until Sonic's Christmas Blast came out three years later. It's probably for the best this series got canceled, because getting toward the end, you could tell they were really running out of steam and they quit trying to make sense of anything, not that that's saying much given how nonsensical this series was. So what was so bad about "Sonically Ever After"? Well, as I said above, it's about fairy tales. Sonic, Tails, and Robotnik get transported into a fairy tale dimension and act them out. How did they get there? Bet it's really ridiculous? Our story... I'm kidding, there is no story... our insanity begins as Robotnik, Scratch and Grounder chase Sonic and Tails into the park. They elude them by way of cheap policeman disguises and cite them for a litany of goofy reasons, but then Tails somehow sprains his tails, and a kindly old lady who was reading a story to some children in the park offers to read to him too. She's the same old lady who ran the day care center in "Musta Been a Beautiful Baby", and you can see the sloth kid from "Slowww Going" as part of her audience. But then, something miraculous happens. Robotnik catches Sonic. Yep, he just grabs him after the hedgehog came running back to Tails screaming bloody murder over being "forced" to listen to a story. I'm not making that up. Three minutes in and Robotnik has won? Scratch and Grounder bring around some trans-dimensional transport whatchamacallit ray and, of course, they screw up and beam Sonic, Tails, and Robotnik right into the fairy tale book. Again, not making this up. The ensuing chaos occurs without rhyme or reason, so expect the unexpected from hereon out. Sonic and Tails arrive in... Oz, I think, and they've taken up the roles of Hansel and Gretel... Tails is Gretel, and he has... cleavage. I didn't even notice that at first until someone pointed it out. They gave Tails cleavage. That is wrong for so many reasons. Oh wait, it's not Hansel and Gretel, it's Hansel and Nettle... WHAT? Why did they change the name? That's not funny, that's stupid. So Hansel and... Nettle, discover a house made of chili dogs and Tails just now realizes he's a girl. Very good, maybe next you'll discover you have two tails. Stupid! But then, they're cornered by the evil... Ro-witchnik. He invites them to stay for dinner, and dummy Tails falls for the ruse, but Sonic manages to get the drop on their witchy host, making him fall in a vat of chili. He says it's because he knew the story of Hansel and "Nettle", when in reality, it's clear he knew that was Robotnik... or did he? I guess it would've been too graphic if they shoved Robotnik into a hot oven and he burned to death. I mean, I wouldn't complain, but still. Time for the next story! It's Snow Height.... okay, DiC, it's not cute changing the names of famous fairy tales like this. They call her Snow Height, because she's very tall. That's the joke. And instead of seven dwarves, she lives with "seven squatty guys". Sonic and Tails are two of the "squatty guys" and they all dance for some reason. But as bad as things have been up to this point, they're about to get even worse. This next scene was nearly a deal breaker for me where I nearly just gave up and abandoned all hope for this series. Okay, so you know the part of the story where the wicked queen, out of jealousy, becomes a haggard witch and gives Snow White a poisoned apple? Well, replace the witch with Robotnik, replace the apple with a chili dog, and replace the recipient to a gluttonous Tails. He eats it, gets poisoned, and collapses. That really just happened! Sonic laments that Tails doesn't know his fairy tales. Yeah, and neither do the writers of this show. Also, forget the fairy tales, he clearly doesn't know his villains either! Robotnik made no attempt to disguise himself, and still Tails took the chili dog from him. Why is Tails so stupid in this episode?! It makes me really angry at how little this show's producers valued the audience's intelligence. Anyway, Sonic convinces Snow Height to kiss Tails, lest he sleep for 26 weeks... just go with it, in exchange, he would introduce her to Prince Charming. So she kisses the little nimrod and he wakes up, and her so-called prince was Robotnik. As he runs away, he steals the Fairy Godfather's wand. Yeah, Godfather as in Don Corleone, so a point for a funny joke, and now with a magic wand, Robotnik manages to trap Sonic and Tails, after turning Snow Height into a toad, and procrastinates over what he could do with them. You really are a lost Bond villain, Robuttnik.
Meanwhile in the surreal world, Scratch and Grounder try to undo their screw-up, and despite their best efforts, they succeed. Sonic, Tails, and Robotnik are teleported back out of the book... but along with them come Cinderella, Fairy Godfather, the beatnik giant from Jack and the Beanstalk, and a dragon. The evil doctor sees this as an opportunity for world domination, with magic at his disposal, however Sonic hatches a plan to beat him at his own game, fight fairy tales with fairy tales if you will. First, he poses as Rapunzel... wait, so they can use Rapunzel's name, but not Gretel and Snow White? Whatever. Robotnik falls for the disguise, because he's an idiot, and he climbs up the tower via long hair, and is tricked into kissing Toad Height, changing her back to a humanoid. Sonic fails to get the wand, but he doesn't give up. It's at this point that Tails loses faith in fairy tales, and honestly, I don't blame him. However, kindly Mrs. Whats-her-face tells him the point of the stories isn't to introduce children to the dragon, but rather the possibility of defeating the dragon. Yeah, I don't know where you pulled that from, lady, but put it back. Right on cue, Robotnik arrives on his dragon to make himself a roasted hedgehog. However, Sonic has another trick up his sleeve, recalling the fairy tale about the lion and the mouse... that's not a fairy tale, you idiots, that's one of Aesop's fables, and it's based off Daniel in the lion's den. Did you do ANY research?! Anyway, Sonic finds a thorn in the dragon's paw, and now he's good. I hate this episode so much. After making short work of the giant, pun intended, Robotnik begins to, I guess, ponder how he can bring about the destruction of Mobius with his wand, and just when you're wishing this thing would hurry up and end... it kinda does. Yeah, get this: Sonic and Tails race toward the airport, with Sonic reminding Tails of his promise to be his friend to "the end"... okay, this is getting somewhat dark. Nope, they steal a plane and skywrite the ultimate deus ex machina: "and they all lived happily ever after. The end", which somehow renders Robotnik's magic wand powerless and opens a vortex to send all the fairy tale creatures back to wacky world... so, wait, they could have done that this whole time?! But then we pull out of a storybook that the lady was reading to the kids, so is this some kind of Inception story or... what? I don't get it. We end on Sonic telling us to stay tuned for more Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog. Sorry, buddy, you've been canceled! LOL. The Sonic Says is about going to the library, and if that was the point of this episode, then I'd say they failed, because if their message was getting children to read more, they did it as effectively as The Pagemaster.
In closing, Sonically Ever After is a mess. The writing is terrible, the acting is terrible, and nothing makes a lick of sense! They clearly gave up at this point in the game. I mean, making your own versions of famous fairy tales is fun, but virtually EVERY OTHER show that's done it has done it better. The Simpsons, for example, did a far better job at parodying these stories than AOSTH did, and so did the Looney Tunes. Why did they change some characters' names? Furthermore, why was everyone in this cartoon so STUPID? They made Scratch and Grounder look intelligent by comparison! The story got away from them halfway through and they clearly had no ending. Did they even read this script out loud? Like, did this series have a table read before each recording session? I know this series was made on a low budget and episodes had to be made quick, but you can't tell me a bunch of people read this and said, "it's good, I like this, let's go with it." How tight were the time constraints? I mean, I know it's just a kid's show, but when they treat kids like they don't have a brain, then it becomes a problem. So, do I recommend Sonically Ever After? No way, Jose. However, do give Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog a look, as most episodes are pretty good, but there are some that are just beyond horrible, and this was one of them. Check out the Saturday morning version too, as it at least got a second season before it was unfairly canceled, and unlike Adventures, that show actually had more stories to tell.
Meanwhile in the surreal world, Scratch and Grounder try to undo their screw-up, and despite their best efforts, they succeed. Sonic, Tails, and Robotnik are teleported back out of the book... but along with them come Cinderella, Fairy Godfather, the beatnik giant from Jack and the Beanstalk, and a dragon. The evil doctor sees this as an opportunity for world domination, with magic at his disposal, however Sonic hatches a plan to beat him at his own game, fight fairy tales with fairy tales if you will. First, he poses as Rapunzel... wait, so they can use Rapunzel's name, but not Gretel and Snow White? Whatever. Robotnik falls for the disguise, because he's an idiot, and he climbs up the tower via long hair, and is tricked into kissing Toad Height, changing her back to a humanoid. Sonic fails to get the wand, but he doesn't give up. It's at this point that Tails loses faith in fairy tales, and honestly, I don't blame him. However, kindly Mrs. Whats-her-face tells him the point of the stories isn't to introduce children to the dragon, but rather the possibility of defeating the dragon. Yeah, I don't know where you pulled that from, lady, but put it back. Right on cue, Robotnik arrives on his dragon to make himself a roasted hedgehog. However, Sonic has another trick up his sleeve, recalling the fairy tale about the lion and the mouse... that's not a fairy tale, you idiots, that's one of Aesop's fables, and it's based off Daniel in the lion's den. Did you do ANY research?! Anyway, Sonic finds a thorn in the dragon's paw, and now he's good. I hate this episode so much. After making short work of the giant, pun intended, Robotnik begins to, I guess, ponder how he can bring about the destruction of Mobius with his wand, and just when you're wishing this thing would hurry up and end... it kinda does. Yeah, get this: Sonic and Tails race toward the airport, with Sonic reminding Tails of his promise to be his friend to "the end"... okay, this is getting somewhat dark. Nope, they steal a plane and skywrite the ultimate deus ex machina: "and they all lived happily ever after. The end", which somehow renders Robotnik's magic wand powerless and opens a vortex to send all the fairy tale creatures back to wacky world... so, wait, they could have done that this whole time?! But then we pull out of a storybook that the lady was reading to the kids, so is this some kind of Inception story or... what? I don't get it. We end on Sonic telling us to stay tuned for more Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog. Sorry, buddy, you've been canceled! LOL. The Sonic Says is about going to the library, and if that was the point of this episode, then I'd say they failed, because if their message was getting children to read more, they did it as effectively as The Pagemaster.
In closing, Sonically Ever After is a mess. The writing is terrible, the acting is terrible, and nothing makes a lick of sense! They clearly gave up at this point in the game. I mean, making your own versions of famous fairy tales is fun, but virtually EVERY OTHER show that's done it has done it better. The Simpsons, for example, did a far better job at parodying these stories than AOSTH did, and so did the Looney Tunes. Why did they change some characters' names? Furthermore, why was everyone in this cartoon so STUPID? They made Scratch and Grounder look intelligent by comparison! The story got away from them halfway through and they clearly had no ending. Did they even read this script out loud? Like, did this series have a table read before each recording session? I know this series was made on a low budget and episodes had to be made quick, but you can't tell me a bunch of people read this and said, "it's good, I like this, let's go with it." How tight were the time constraints? I mean, I know it's just a kid's show, but when they treat kids like they don't have a brain, then it becomes a problem. So, do I recommend Sonically Ever After? No way, Jose. However, do give Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog a look, as most episodes are pretty good, but there are some that are just beyond horrible, and this was one of them. Check out the Saturday morning version too, as it at least got a second season before it was unfairly canceled, and unlike Adventures, that show actually had more stories to tell.
