- [Jigen and Goemon prepare to draw their weapons on Bujiko]
- Arsène Lupin III: Guys, no! Come on. We should just pack it up.
- Daisuke Jigen, Goemon Ishikawa XIII: Forget it!
- Arsène Lupin III: How come?
- Daisuke Jigen: Because she's an ugly bitch! There, I said it! UG-LY!
- Bujiko Mine: Now here's a map, whether you believe it or not. I think it's in some kind of code.
- Arsène Lupin III: That looks like... hieroglyphics!
- [Remembering his past incident, Lupin becomes nearly paralysed with fear]
- Bujiko Mine: [tenderly touching the chin of the trembling young man] What the...? You know, I don't understand what you're saying to me, Lupin, and that really ticks me off.
- Arsène Lupin III: It's curse of King Tut... I already did that one!
- Chief: Well, give my regards to Speed Racer. I bid you adieu.
- Inspector Kouichi Zenigata: [into his hat] Penis!
- Chief: Pardon?
- Inspector Kouichi Zenigata: [Zenigata turns and hits his head on the door] Ow. Must have caught a cold or something.
- [He feigns another sneeze]
- Inspector Kouichi Zenigata: Asswipe!
- Daisuke Jigen: Hey, Goemon.
- Goemon Ishikawa XIII: Yes? What? Well?
- Daisuke Jigen: It's Fujiko. She wants to talk to Lupin.
- Goemon Ishikawa XIII: Uh-oh.
- Daisuke Jigen: I know. I'm afraid just hearing her voice. It's gonna be enough to make him jump out the window or something.
- Arsène Lupin III: BANZAI!
- [a glass window breaks]
- Daisuke Jigen: You know?
- [Bujiko approaches Lupin and his gang from behind]
- Arsène Lupin III: Hmm, judging by the footsteps, it's either the abominable snowman or Auntie Dearest.
- Arsène Lupin III: Just take a look at that map! Does that ring any bells for you, Jigen?
- Daisuke Jigen: Give me a hint.
- Arsène Lupin III: Birds, and fish, and snakes!
- Arsène Lupin III: [furiously perusing the texts] How the hell did I get myself into this?
- [as he grumbles to himself, the Fujiko hologram comes to sit beside him]
- Fujiko hologram: Hey there, lover. Burning the midnight oil? Mind if I hang out?
- [Lupin smiles deliriously, his tongue hanging out. He launches himself at the Fujiko hologram, only to look around in confusion and disappointment. He flies into a rage and throws books into the air]
- Arsène Lupin III: I can't take this anymore! It's not fair, I tell you! It's not fair!
- Fujiko hologram: Keep it together, Lupin. These guys want something by tomorrow, or it's bye bye love.
- [the hologram fades. Lupin launches himself at her]
- Arsène Lupin III: Wait, Fuji...
- Bujiko Mine: [from the other room] Okay, that's it, lover boy! Recess is over! Time to hit the books!
- [Lupin sobs angrily, then begrudgingly goes back to studying]
- Arsène Lupin III: Come on, come on! What the hell could it be?
- [Fujiko, the real one, appears behind him, wearing a sheer pink slip]
- Fujiko Mine: Lupin. Lover. It's time.
- Arsène Lupin III: [ignoring her] Hold on.
- Fujiko Mine: They can't wait any longer.
- Arsène Lupin III: Fine, 'cause I've had it with this whole falcon.
- Fujiko Mine: Huh?
- Arsène Lupin III: Hawk... Sea hawk... Aha! Yup.
- [He giggles triumphantly and runs out of the room past a confused Fujiko]
- Arsène Lupin III: It's a falcon miracle!
- French Taxi Driver: Who are you?
- Inspector Kouichi Zenigata: I'm Jerry Lewis!
- [He hijacks the taxi]
- French Taxi Driver: You've lost weight!
- Arsène Lupin III: [previewing the next episode] Only one crummy scene with Fujiko, though. So when the producers asked for suggestions for a title, I said "Rats to You".