Holly Willoughby: Self

Quotes 

• Stephen Mulhern : It's the moment you've all been waiting for. Holly Willoughby has agreed to be beheaded by guillotine.

  [Holly is standing beside Stephen in a black shoulder-less dress and stiletto heels] 

  Stephen Mulhern : How are you feeling, Holly?

  Holly Willoughby : A bit nervous, Stephen. I can't believe I'm doing this.

  [She smiles nervously] 

  Holly Willoughby : What's going to happen?

  Stephen Mulhern : First, we need to slip off your dress.

  [He moves behind her] 

  Stephen Mulhern : That way, everyone can see it really is your lovely body on the guillotine. Here, let me help you.

  [Stephen pulls down the zip her her dress] 

  Stephen Mulhern : There we go.

  Holly Willoughby : I wouldn't want people thinking it wasn't me.

  [the dress sags, baring her breasts, and showing she's wearing only black thong panties] 

  Holly Willoughby : And I guess I won't need it after this.

  Stephen Mulhern : No, you won't need it anymore.

  [He helps her step out of the dress] 

  Stephen Mulhern : You have lovely boobs, Holly.

  Holly Willoughby : Thank you!

  [Grins] 

  Holly Willoughby : Well, now they can see it really is me being beheaded.

  Stephen Mulhern : Let's go out onto the stage.

  [Placing a hand on her shoulder, Stephen leads Holly out onto the stage, towards the guillotine] 

  Stephen Mulhern : Here it is - the guillotine you're going to be beheaded by.

  Holly Willoughby : [Eyeing the sharp blade]  I'm not sure about this...

  Stephen Mulhern : Don't worry, it'll all be over soon.

  [Raises the board of the guillotine upright] 

  Holly Willoughby : That's what I'm afraid of!

  [She fidgets nervously, still looking at the blade of the guillotine] 

  Holly Willoughby : What's next?

  Stephen Mulhern : We need to make sure you stay still.

  [Holds up handcuffs] 

  Stephen Mulhern : We need to slip these on.

  Holly Willoughby : [Nervously holding her hands behind her back to be restrained]  Wow... I guess I'm not going anywhere.

  [Stephen cinches the cuffs, pats her bottom, and takes hold of her thong] 

  Stephen Mulhern : Nope. And let's slip this off too.

  [He tugs down, pulling her thong off] 

  Stephen Mulhern : Just step out of that.

  [as Holly steps out of it, he tossed it aside] 

  Stephen Mulhern : Lovely.

  [Giving her bottom a pat, he guides Holly to stand against the upright board] 

  Stephen Mulhern : Next, we strap you into place.

  Holly Willoughby : This must be how Marie Antoinette felt!

  [Stephen buckles three leather straps across Holly's back, bottom, and knees, holding her in place] 

  Holly Willoughby : It won't hurt, will it?

  Stephen Mulhern : Don't worry, I've done this lots of times before. Nobody ever complained afterwards.

  [He laughs] 

  Stephen Mulhern : Now you're all secured, we can lower you into position for your beheading.

  [Stephen takes hold of the board that Holly is strapped to and tilts it forward, dropping her into position below the blade, and closes the stock around her neck] 

  Holly Willoughby : Oh,!

  [Staring down into the basket in front of her] 

  Holly Willoughby : This is getting really scary!

  Stephen Mulhern : It should be Holly - you are about to be beheaded, after all.

  Holly Willoughby : Oh!

  [Gulps, hands fidgeting] 

  Holly Willoughby : I think I might be changing my mind.

  Stephen Mulhern : Too late for that.

  [He pats her bottom] 

  Stephen Mulhern : You agreed to this.

  Holly Willoughby : I did.

  [Holly's cuffed hands fidget] 

  Holly Willoughby : Will it be quick?

  Stephen Mulhern : It will be very quick.

  [Rubbing her bottom] 

  Stephen Mulhern : Are you ready?

  Holly Willoughby : Just give me a moment to make my peace.

  [She closes her eyes. The camera shows her naked body strapped to the guillotine, Stephen rubbing her bum] 

  Stephen Mulhern : [after a few moments, Stephen takes hold of the rope that releases the blade]  You're nude, restrained, and about to be decapitated. How does it feel to know you are about to be behead?

  Holly Willoughby : It's scary, but very exciting.

  [Grins] 

  Holly Willoughby : Shame I can only do it once.

  Stephen Mulhern : Holly Marie Willoughby, are you ready to be decapitated?

  Holly Willoughby : Yes... I'm ready.

  Stephen Mulhern : Then count us down, Holly

  Holly Willoughby : 3... 2... 1...

  [Stephen pulls the rope and the blade falls, slamming home into the stocks around Holly's neck with a loud bang. As it does so, Holly's head drops and tumbles into the basket, leaving her now-headless body strapped to the board] 

  Holly Willoughby : [Holly's hands clench and then go limp; her feet kick, and one of her stiletto heels falls off] 

  Stephen Mulhern : A big round of applause for Headless Holly Willoughby!

  [Stephen winks to the camera, and walks off stage, leaving Holly's headless naked body in full view]