Boston Legal (TV Series)
Fine Young Cannibal (2006)
James Spader: Alan Shore
Quotes
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Alan Shore : If I should ever like to drive your car...
Denny Crane : I toss you my keys.
Alan Shore : If I should ever need any money...
Denny Crane : My check is blank.
Alan Shore : Or need to pick your brain...
Denny Crane : My mind is blank.
Alan Shore : Anything you have, or once did have, is there for me.
Denny Crane : Except for Shirley. Keep your root away from Shirley.
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Shirley Schmidt : [after Alan loses the wrestling match to Denny] Five seconds?
Alan Shore : He cheated. You can't squat on the head.
Shirley Schmidt : Five seconds?
Alan Shore : Four, actually.
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Alan Shore : Admit it Shirley, you're drawn to me like Eve to the Serpent. Take me home and help me stretch my coil.
Shirley Schmidt : Has that line actually worked?
Alan Shore : It's working now.
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Alan Shore : [Before their wrestling match] Shouldn't we pee in a cup first? I don't trust his testosterone levels.
Denny Crane : Mine's naturally high.
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Alan Shore : My friend, one of my goals in life is to go to all the places you've gone.
Denny Crane : Just don't go to Shirley. She's mine.
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A.D.A. Frank Ginsberg : Knowing you, you'd probably plan to get up in the end and deliver some stirring closing like cannibalism is good, the world needs more people devouring each other.
Alan Shore : No, we already have enough of that.