Photos
Quotes
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P.J. Franklin : Oh, hey, uh, you wanna see my baseball card collection? It's in my bedroom.
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[first lines]
P.J. Franklin : [narrating] I've come to realize that almost everything in dating and relationships has a parallel to sports, especially baseball. Well, that's probably because of what I do - I'm a sportswriter for the Chicago Sun-Times. I cover the Cubs. It's like, for example, your friends are your team.
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P.J. Franklin : [narrating] Kenny and Mike are like great infielders. They make our team strong up the middle.
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[looking at a pizza]
Mike Callahan : Ow. What are the brown things?
Kenny Morittori : Mushrooms.
Mike Callahan : Why with the mushrooms? What?
Kenny Morittori : I'm trying to eat healthier.
P.J. Franklin : Dude, if you don't like it, don't eat it.
Mike Callahan : Oh, I'm going to eat it, just without the fungus on top of it.
[Mike starts picking the mushrooms off the pizza]
P.J. Franklin : What are you doing? Were you born in a barn?
Mike Callahan : I don't remember where I was born.
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P.J. Franklin : [narrating] Like my brother Andy and me. We've been on the same team since I was born. Unfortunately, his wife, Meredith, is a huge drag and keeps him on a short leash, so he's more like a relief pitcher. He can only play a couple of innings.
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Mike Callahan : After the third date, chicks start expecting stuff.
P.J. Franklin : Like a fourth date?
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P.J. Franklin : Brendan is like the veteran on the team. We were roommates in college and have been close ever since. It's like we came up through the minor leagues together.
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P.J. Franklin : [narrating] There are some parts of the game you have to learn through experience in order to become a more complete player. You see, the difference between love and sports is that sports have very few unwritten rules and so many ones we already know. I mean, can you imagine what it would be like if the foul line was always moving or if sometimes it was two strikes and you're out? If you've ever tried to date someone, you probably can.
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P.J. Franklin : [voiceover] The reason I love sports is because you know where you stand. Someone wins and someone loses. It's black and white. Dating, on the other hand, is a whole different ball game.
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Bobby Newman : Come on, you're gonna bat me last just because you can't take a little teasing?
P.J. Franklin : No, I'm batting you last 'cause you might suck.
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Stephanie Layne : You can do what you always do: date him until he can't handle all the guys in your life and then break up with him because he's crazy for being jealous.
P.J. Franklin : I don't... ALWAYS do that.
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P.J. Franklin : Bren, you got a booty call.
Brendan Dorff : What? No, I told you - "nothing happened." We just talked.
P.J. Franklin : No, I know. See, sex is the guy's booty call. You got the GIRL booty call.
Mike Callahan : The "girl booty call?"
P.J. Franklin : Yeah, it's the most complex of all booty calls. You see, with the girl booty call, she needs that emotional fix. You know, the "Hold me, I'm scared; it's so lonely here without you." The minute she finds somebody else, you're out.
