Family Guy (TV Series)

Road to Rupert (2007)

Seth MacFarlane: Peter Griffin, Brian Griffin, Stewie Griffin, Glenn Quagmire, Pat Robertson, Bandit, Driver

Photos 

Quotes 

• Brian Griffin : [Brian singing]  Take to the highway, won't you lend me your name.

  Stewie Griffin : Who sings that song?

  Brian Griffin : James Taylor.

  Stewie Griffin : Yeah let's keep it that way.

• Stewie Griffin : [Stewie and Brian have just crashed their plane into a mountainside]  Imagine the dance I'm gonna have to do to get our security deposit back.

• Stewie Griffin : And just in time, too. I can't keep my teeth from chattering. Isn't that fun? I got these at Jack's Joke Shop in South Attleboro, Massachusetts. Remember, if it ain't funny, it ain't worth Jack.

  [Brian slaps him] 

  Stewie Griffin : Ah, bitch

• Brian Griffin : [after carjacking someone in Aspen, Colorado]  Did we just car-jack someone?

  Stewie Griffin : We sure did, Brian. We sure did.

• Stewie Griffin : [To an African American]  You're welcome.

  Guy : Excuse me?

  Stewie Griffin : I'm just saying make it worth our while. We wrote a pretty big check for you folks.

  Guy : I'd say the events that preceded it, the hundred years or so, we're even.

  Stewie Griffin : Yeah, we gave more.

• Peter Griffin : There is no Peter, there is only Zuul!

• Stewie Griffin : What are we doing at the toy store?

  Brian Griffin : I'm going to buy you another Rupert.

  [takes a stuffed gorilla off the shelf] 

  Brian Griffin : This is cute and if we buy it, they save a real gorilla in the wild.

  [looks closer at the tag] 

  Brian Griffin : And if we don't, they kill one. Boy, these guys are really playing hardball.

• Stewie Griffin : Thanks for the ride, Bandit. And good luck tapping that

  [with disgust] 

  Stewie Griffin : ... hot... hot... Sally Field tail.

  The Bandit : Knock it off! I don't like it any more than you do.

• Brian Griffin : You are getting a little old for a teddy bear.

  Stewie Griffin : Brian, I'm one.

  Brian Griffin : Still?

• Peter Griffin : Aw, you should've seen what our amazing freakin' daughter did to that guy, Lois. She kicked his ass! It was like what life did to Dana Plato.

• Lois Griffin : Who wants a glass of fresh lemonade?

  Peter Griffin : Not me! What I want is a fresh glass of better daughter!

  [Peter splashes Meg with lemonade] 

• Peter Griffin : Hey, Joe.

  Joe Swanson : Good morning, Peter. I'm here to revoked your driver's license.

  Peter Griffin : What? Why?

  Joe Swanson : We got reckless driving, disturbing the peace, plus the driver of one of the other cars was a virgin whose hymen was busted by the airbag, so rape.