Metalocalypse (TV Series)
Murdering Outside the Box (2006)
Brendon Small: Skwisgaar Skwigelf, Pickles the Drummer, Nathan Explosion, Charles Foster Ofdensen
Quotes
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Pickles the Drummer : Okay, so, uh, #421, you, uh, you are part of the Sector 18 recording studio maintenance clean team. Okay. Uh, que - couple questions.
[he looks at his paper and reads with difficulty]
Pickles the Drummer : "How do you value your what you contribute of to at the workforce?" Uh, second part: "At which do you most can't the least?" Skwisgaar?
Skwisgaar Skwigelf : Huh?
Pickles the Drummer : Did you write these questions?
Skwisgaar Skwigelf : Yeah, I did.
Pickles the Drummer : Okay, well... 421, do you have an answer?
Employee #421 : I am a highly skilled microphone cleaner, my masters. And what I most can't the least would be do not a bad job, but always a good.
Skwisgaar Skwigelf : Okay, good answer.
Pickles the Drummer : Well, that's all I got. Uh, guys?
Nathan Explosion : No, I got one more question. And answer honestly.
[pause]
Nathan Explosion : Are you the guy who's embezzling from us?
Employee #421 : No.
Nathan Explosion : [pause] Okay. I believe you.
Pickles the Drummer : Whoo! Well, you are all set, 421. Thanks for doin' a great job and ...
William Murderface : Hold on, hold everything!
Pickles the Drummer : Di ...
William Murderface : I just wanna say a little something... personal. How is, uh, the, er...
[he picks up his paper and looks at it]
William Murderface : ... little Amanda and Scott, your children?
[421 shrugs]
William Murderface : Things are still rough with the divorce, huh? That, uh, that's tough. Are you still talkin' to Rachel? Yeah, well, hey, happy almost birthday!
[he chuckles]
William Murderface : Two weeks, huh? Hey, get outta here, you're done!
[421 gets up and leaves]
Nathan Explosion : We are really, *really* good bosses.
Skwisgaar Skwigelf : Yeah, I know. We cares about all of thems. It's like a plantations, but the slaves is our friends.
Toki Wartooth : [irritated] I would like to ask questions next time.
Skwisgaar Skwigelf : Are you asking us to do that, Toki?
Toki Wartooth : Yeah, I don't know.
Skwisgaar Skwigelf : That's interesting. You said, "I would likes to ask a question." That's a statements.
Toki Wartooth : What... is... the difference?
Skwisgaar Skwigelf : That's... a great question.
-
Charles Foster Ofdensen : There you are. I've been trying to get in touch with you all day.
Pickles the Drummer : Cinnamon buns!
Charles Foster Ofdensen : You know today's our big Employee Evaluation Conference Conference and Raffle.
Skwisgaar Skwigelf : Ha! Thats a funny one. Who cares about that?
Charles Foster Ofdensen : Well, perhaps you should care because it has come to our attention that one of our employees is a major embezzler.
Nathan Explosion : Awesome! Right?
Toki Wartooth : "Ambuzzle?" What means that?
Pickles the Drummer : Ah, well, it's a super-awesome way of saying, "Take havin' somethin'."
Skwisgaar Skwigelf : Hey guys, I haves a good use of the words "unsbuzzle." "My lungs unsbuzzle the air from the earth, as I can breathe... it. Period."
Charles Foster Ofdensen : Well, I don't see the humor in any of it.
Skwisgaar Skwigelf : Oh, lighten up, Mr. Dooms-and-Gloom, "embezzle" is metal.
Pickles the Drummer : Well, who's the guy embezzling from, you know, anyway?
Charles Foster Ofdensen : Well, he's embezzling from you.
Nathan Explosion : NOOOOO!
-
Skwisgaar Skwigelf : [passing over a dead employee in the hall] Look at this ones, asleeps in some bloods. We gots to get tougher on these guys maybe, huh?
[another employee gets shot and falls to the ground, decapitated]
Skwisgaar Skwigelf : Oh! See what I'm talking about? Another guy, this guys sleeps in bloods too.
Nathan Explosion : Yea, well, all I can think about is the raffle. Can we win it?
Pickles the Drummer : Well, dude, I fucking hope so. Its the only reason my ass is going there.
Nathan Explosion : Oh yea, and there is gonna be an awesome motivational speaker. Oh my god, I love being motivated. I love being motivated!
Toki Wartooth : Me too!
Nathan Explosion : I LOVE BEING MOTIVATED!
-
Facebones : Welcome to the Dethklok employee forum. Where were going to learn to "Use your motivation"! Were going to learn to be considerate at the workplace.
Skwisgaar Skwigelf : I have to works with you everyday, so please, would you please take it easy on the cologne?
William Murderface : While that hurts my feelings, I understand.
Nathan Explosion : When you see a piece of trash on the ground, don't just stand there. Pick it up!
Pickles the Drummer : Yea! And dont leave your lunch lying around either, it attracts ants.
Facebones : And most importantly, remember. Death is an everyday part of the workplace. So when you see a dead body, dont freak out.
Toki Wartooth : Wow-wee!
Facebones : Just, ring your death bell!
Toki Wartooth : [rings death bell]
-
Toki Wartooth : Whoo-wee, I am such one tired guy. How come shopping's so stupid? Whats I have now? All this stuff. What I do?
Skwisgaar Skwigelf : Yeah, you know what, uh, just throw everything away. That's what I do.
Toki Wartooth : Now I t'rows it away.
Skwisgaar Skwigelf : Just going to die anyway.
Toki Wartooth : Guess it's full circle.
Skwisgaar Skwigelf : Goodbye.
Toki Wartooth : Okay.
Skwisgaar Skwigelf : Burn it.
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Skwisgaar Skwigelf : Yeah, that's good codpiece.
William Murderface : Yeah it's no big deal, it's just totally diamond encrusted with a titanium base.
Toki Wartooth : Oh whats a coincidence. I gots myself a real cool codpiece too!
William Murderface : Uh, that's a dildo. A strap-on dildo.
Toki Wartooth : Ah screw you all offs! My codpiece is the coolest!
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Skwisgaar Skwigelf : Oh lighten up Mr. dooms and glooms, embezzle is metal.
Pickles the Drummer : Well who's the guy embezzling from, you know, anyway?
Charles Foster Ofdensen : Well, he's embezzling from you.
Nathan Explosion : Nooooooooo!
