- Coach Eric Taylor: [after having Matt Saracen leave his home] They had a blanket.
- Tami Taylor: You're an idiot.
- Matt Saracen: Isn't her dad a preacher?
- Brian 'Smash' Williams: What you know about it? Last time you went south of the border, was the day you were born with your mama on your very first birthday.
- Matt Saracen: Ha, my mama lives in Oklahoma...
- [team snickers]
- Matt Saracen: What? She does!
- Tami Taylor: Honey will you stop pacing please?
- Eric Taylor: What do you suppose they're doing in there?
- Tami Taylor: Probably having sex.