You Can't Do That on Television (TV Series)
Fame (1984)
Les Lye: El Capitano, Lance Prevort, Barth Baggs, Ross Ewich, Mr. Schidtler, Announcer, Blip
Quotes
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Announcer : Fame will not be seen at this time but is desperately being sought after by each member of our cast.
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Barth Baggs : You know, I never told nobody this before, but I've always had a secret ambition to be world-famous.
Mike Hora : Really? Then I think you should open a chain of burgeries all around the world.
Barth Baggs : Hey, you mean that, Mike? You're not kiddin'? You really think that my food could make me well-known?
Mike Hora : Sure. Mass murderers always get their pictures - in the paper, in Time Magazine, on the news...
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El Capitano : Ready! Aim!
Kevin Kubusheskie : Wait a minute! You can't shoot me. Don't you know who I am?
El Capitano : Who are you?
Kevin Kubusheskie : I'm a famous person.
El Capitano : Oh, you are?
Kevin Kubusheskie : Yeah.
El Capitano : Hmm. Wait a minute. I recognize you. Sure. You're Kevin Illyanovich Rasputin Kubusheskie.
Kevin Kubusheskie : Right.
El Capitano : I've seen your work, he-he. Ready! Aim!
Kevin Kubusheskie : No!
El Capitano : Fire!
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Lisa Ruddy : What makes a famous person?
Lance Prevort : Well, Lisa, a famous person is someone who has worked very hard so that everybody'll know 'em, then puts on dark glasses so nobody'll recognize 'em.
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Mr. Schidtler : Now, can anyone tell me what George Washington was famous for? Klea?
Klea Scott : His memory, sir.
Mr. Schidtler : His memory? What... What makes you think he was famous for his memory?
Klea Scott : Well, they did erect a monument to his "memory," didn't they?
Mr. Schidtler : Where does the school board get them and why do they send them to me?
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Lisa Ruddy : Dad, how'd's a person become famous, anyhow?
Lance Prevort : Famous... Well, Lisa, I guess what you have to do is do somethin' that nobody else in the entire world can do.
Lisa Ruddy : Well, then, how come you're not famous?
Lance Prevort : Whadda mean?
Lisa Ruddy : Well, isn't Mom always saying, "No one else in the entire world is as sloppy and messy as you are? No one else in the entire world lies around doing as little as possible...?"
Lance Prevort : All right, all right, Lisa! That's enough!
Valerie Prevort : But, dear, Lisa she does have a point, you know?
Lance Prevort : [darkly] Don't encourage her.
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Mr. Schidtler : What do you want to be when you grow up?
Mike Hora : I want to be a fireman.
Lisa Ruddy : Mike, you told me you want to be a politician. That's a lie.
Mike Hora : See? I'm on my way to being a politician already.
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Mr. Schidtler : Now can anyone tell me: what is a mark of greatness? Michael?
Mike Hora : Uh, Mark Twain.
Mr. Schidtler : Oh, no. Klea?
Klea Scott : Mark Spitz?
Mr. Schidtler : Oh, no, no, noooo. That's not funny. Now can anyone REALLY tell me: what is a mark of greatness? Lisa.
Lisa Ruddy : I can. A-plus.
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Announcer : You Can't Do That On Television has been a Famous Production.