Les Lye: El Capitano, Lance Prevort, Barth Baggs, Ross Ewich, Nasti, Mr. Schidtler, Doctor, Announcer, Blip, Snake-Eyes, Santa Claus

Quotes 

• Announcer : The A-Team Wreck Disneyland will not be seen at this time so that we may bring you this holiday special.

• Nasti : Oh, Alasdair. Ya know, today is Thanksgiving.

  Alasdair Gillis : Well, so what. I haven't got anything to give thanks for chained up in this stupid dungeon all the time.

  Nasti : You know, Gillis, you may be right. Ch'uh, I was just going to give you the day off so you could have some turkey, but if you've got nothing to give thanks for, then there's no point. See ya around.

• Santa Claus : What's the matter with our little elf... our little, uh, BOY, Mother Claus?

  Mother Claus : He's upset to find out that you're really Santa Claus and not just some regular father PRETENDING.

  Santa Claus : Oh, ho-ho-ho!

  Doug Ptolemy : Boy, what a disappointment!

  Santa Claus : [about to go into song]  Now, Dougie - "You'd better watch out, you'd better not cry, you'd better not pout, I'm telling you why..."

  Doug Ptolemy : Oh, Dad, shut up!

• Announcer : [voiceover]  You Can't Do That On Television has been a Thanksgiving Production.

  Announcer : [on camera]  I don't know about you but I'm just giving thanks that it's over.

• Barth Baggs : Dyah, two super special, dyah, turkey burgers, duh, comin' up!

  Alasdair Gillis : [to Christine]  Don't you think Barth's gettin' a little carried away with these holiday special burgers? I mean, for Easter we had bunny burgers, and on Thanksgiving we're having turkey burgers.

  Christine McGlade : Hey, anything's gotta be better than his regular burgers, right?

  Barth Baggs : Dyah, I heard that, Christine, but you just wait until you try one of these succulent turkey burgers.

  Alasdair Gillis : [takes a bite and spits out a mouthful]  They're full of feathers!

  Barth Baggs : Of course. 100% pure turkey. Dyah, waste not want not...

  Alasdair Gillis , Christine McGlade , Lisa Ruddy , Doug Ptolemy : ...I always say!

• Alasdair Gillis : And, uh, thanks again, Doc, for coming over and puttin' this band aid on my knee.

  Doctor : Ah, think nothing of it, my boy. After all, it was a holiday and I had nothing else to do. By the way, if you happen to scrape the other knee or anything else, just phone me at my office, and if I'm NOT in my office, phone the golf course and I'll come right over.

• Mr. Schidtler : Today is Homework Holiday!

  [the class cheers vigorously] 

  Lisa Ruddy : Oh, sir?

  Mr. Schidtler : Yes, Lisa?

  Lisa Ruddy : How do we celebrate this holiday?

  Mr. Schidtler : By staying right here and doing it after school.

  [the class boos vigorously]