- Rochelle: [to the mother of a young adult male] You shouldn't be embarrassed that your boy only has a fifth grade reading level, you should be embarrassed that he's 27! He should be reading "War and Peace", not "Horton Hears a Who!"
- [Greg and Chris have successfully cut school and are roaming the streets]
- Narrator: The weirdest thing about being out of school on a school day was plain and simple: no kids.
- Greg Wuliger: This feels strange, like everyone is watching us.
- Narrator: Almost like being a black kid at an all white school?
- [Chris and Greg approach the box office]
- Ticket Man: [to an older gentleman] Enjoy the show.
- Chris: Uh, two tickets for "Ghostbusters", please?
- Ticket Man: Two dollars.
- Ticket Man: [nearly hands the boys their tickets, stops and gets suspicious] Why aren't you kids in school?
- Greg Wuliger: Uh, see... it's a...
- Chris: A black... uh, holiday!
- Ticket Man: Yeah? Which one?
- Greg Wuliger: Yeah, Chris. Which one?
- Chris: Uh, The Autobiography of Miss Jane Pittman Day!
- Ticket Man: Great woman. She was a credit to your race.
- Narrator: [regarding the ticket man's ethnicity] And Howdy Doody is a credit to yours!
- Ticket Man: [turns toward Greg] What are you doing here?
- Greg Wuliger: I'm an octoroon.
- Narrator: In that case, only one-eighth of him should be off from school.
- Ticket Man: Okay, enjoy the show. Happy holidays.
- [Chris and Greg head into the theater lobby]
- Narrator: If I made it past this guy, I might finally be able to see Ernie Hudson's best work!
- Narrator: The only problem with my mother helping out at a book fair was that she didn't read books and she wasn't fair!
- Rochelle: [sees a young girl reading "Hollywood Wives"] Girl, does your mother know you're over here reading grown up books? Gimme that!
- [Rochelle grabs the book and gives the girl a copy of "Flowers in the Attic"]
- Rochelle: Flowers in the Attic. Now that sounds nice. Read that. You done lost your Jackie Collins mind and don't cut your eyes at me either.
- [Rochelle leaves and approaches a young black boy coloring]
- Rochelle: Boy, don't you know you're too big for a coloring book? White kids your age are building sculptures by now and you're over here trying to stay inside the lines. Come on, Picasso!
- [Rochelle places a chisel and brick on the table]
- Rochelle: Get to chipping! Come on. Chip, chip, chip. Chip, chip, chip.
- DMV Clerk: Can I help you?
- Julius: Yes, you can help me. I'm here to renew my license.
- [the DMV clerks puts on her glasses and examines Julius' license]
- DMV Clerk: This license is expired.
- Julius: No, it's not. It expires today.
- DMV Clerk: It expired today at 10:00 AM. It is almost two o'clock.
- Julius: Yeah, but I've been standing in line since 7:45 A.M.
- DMV Clerk: Are you one of those people who likes to wait until the last minute to pay?
- Julius: [annoyed] No, I'm one of those people who likes to wait until the last four hours and 15 minutes to pay!
- DMV Clerk: Would you like a dime so you can call someone who cares?
- Narrator: I can't believe he didn't take the dime!
- Julius: Please... can't I just give you my money and go?
- DMV Clerk: Yeah... after you take your written test.
- [the DMV clerk gives Julius a written test]
- Julius: I've been driving for over 20 years; I know the rules of the road!
- [the clerks points Julius to the testing area]
- Narrator: My father knew the rules of the road. But they were his rules.
- [Julius is shown driving recklessly through a construction zone]
- Narrator: In a construction zone, you speed up.
- [we see pedestrians are walking their bikes over the crosswalk, they run out of the way as a car plows through wrecking their bikes]
- Narrator: If pedestrians are entering the crosswalk, speed up.
- [Julius smashes through the gate of a railroad crossing beating the train in the process]
- Narrator: At a railroad crossing, you really speed up.
- [Rochelle approaches Drew's table]
- Rochelle: Hey, baby! How's it going?
- [three girls standing at the table giggle]
- Drew: Mom!
- Rochelle: Oh, I'm sorry, sweetie. I didn't mean to call you "baby".
- [the girls giggle again]
- Drew: Mom!
- Rochelle: Well... honey, I...
- Drew: Mom, seriously!
- Rochelle: [to the girls] What're you all laughing at with your hoop earrings on? Let's see if your mothers giggling when you're bringing home babies.
- [the girls leave and Rochelle snickers mockingly]
- Rochelle: Who's laughing now, huh? It ain't funny no more, is it?
- [an adult appears at the table]
- Rochelle: Come over here, girl; and buy some lemonade. It's good. My baby made it.
- Ms. Morello: Chris, I know you must be a big Ernie Hudson fan. Thalmus is too. But do you think Ernie Hudson cut school to go see Gary Coleman movies when he was growing up?
- Narrator: Gary Coleman made a movie?