User Reviews

Some directors make films that go on to become cult classics. On the flip side, you have lazy, untalented hacks who desperately want their films to be viewed as cult classics and think they can accomplish this by making everything as loud, vulgar and obnoxious as humanly possible while populating their already annoying movie with jerks and weirdos who scream moronic comments at each other from beginning to end. It's about the cinematic equivalent of a 5-year-old brat having a screaming tantrum in hopes that someone out there actually cares. And that brings us to WICKED LAKE, an embarrassingly awful ADD horror-comedy from some guy named Zach Passero. It was written and co-produced by Chris Sivertson, who made multi-Razzie winner I KNOW WHO KILLED ME starring Lindsay Lohan, which actually looks like a genre masterpiece in comparison.

Things begin with a nude model posing for some nerd who speaks in an annoyingly forced Michael Jackson-like girlish whisper tone. She goes home, he follows her, gives her a painting of a unicorn, basically makes an ass of himself and runs home crying while some horrible cover of the horrible song "Bang a Gong" plays over the credits. Then we get a brief glimpse at the home lives of both the model and the nerd. The nerd lives in a cartoon-like abusive household full of obnoxious men who beat each other up for no reason and SCREAM idiotic childish insults instead of having a normal conversation. Every single one of them seems retarded and/or unhinged. Yeah, this is real hoot so far... The model is a lesbian who lives with three other lesbians, none of whom have any notable characteristics that set them apart from one another or make them the least bit interesting. But as we all know, any time you get four inexplicably hot lesbians together they just can't seem to keep their hands off one another, which leads to a slow-motion group sex scene that lasts several minutes. Cause that's just what all lesbians do in their free time when they aren't fixing cars or playing softball.

The four lesbians then head out on some sort of vacation and basically prove to be boring, unlikable bitches on the way to their rented lakeside cabin while another horrible cover (this time of "Radar Love") plays. When they stop at a gas station, Angela Bettis is seen exiting a bathroom. Thanks for stopping by Angela. Don't know why you bothered, but we appreciate the effort.

The ladies finally arrive at their destination for some HOUSE ON THE EDGE OF THE PARK-style unpleasantries. The nerd and his obnoxious, ugly male relatives use their apparent psychic abilities to find them. So the guys break in, overact, scream and act like obnoxious attention-starved cretins while holding the ladies at gunpoint and forcing them to do things they don't like, such as cleaning up a puddle of puke on the floor. One of the ladies gets her ass smacked with a belt before being forced to work the wheelchair-bound patriarch's "nub." I think this is supposed to be funny. But it's really not. At all. Unless you're about 11 years old. And since it's all so poorly directed, acted and written, it's not the least bit disturbing or horrific either. Just dull, unconvincing and tedious.

Naturally the ladies get to turn the tables on their attackers and are revealed to be blood-drinking vampires... or something. Maybe demons. Or succubi. Or I guess they could be werewolves since the full moon sets them off and they growl every once in awhile. I couldn't really tell what they were. Maybe they said at one point and I just didn't care. They like blood and human flesh. And making out and rubbing up against each other while covered in blood. Since the main portion of the film is hardly enough to adequately fill 90 minutes (despite having no less than three music montages thrown in), there are completely pointless and boring scenes features detectives tracking the girls. One is played by Tim Thomerson, who has nothing of interest to do. To extend the running time even more, this resorts to several of those trendy prolonged 'torture' scenes a la HOSTEL where the victim is tied down and taunted/terrorized a bit before being killed. Zzzz. Gimme a break.

The dialogue and acting are all beyond terrible, and not in an amusing B-movie sort of way. Every time a horror scene begins it's accompanied by an extremely annoying and clichéd metal guitar riff that's as bad as the rest of the soundtrack, which includes a clueless screechy metal redo of "It's a Wonderful World" over the end credits that fits in with the tone of the rest of this garbage. I usually give films with some blood and nudity at least a 3 because I think those aspects might redeem a film somewhat or give it some exploitation/guilty pleasure cred but this garbage doesn't really deserve any extra credit.

I agree with the other posters on this title, it is truly dreadful. The lesbian sex is not arousing and very dull. I'm not very sure what this film is about because there is not much of a continuous story. Robin Sydney is gorgeous and the only part that I enjoyed in the film. She is killed early on so we don't see much of her. Terrible settings and bad camera angles. I didn't care about any of the characters and the acting was horrendous. Everyone involved should best leave it off their resume and I am still angry for wasting the time and cash to see it. How this got a distribution is truly a shock. The poster is awesome but the movie isn't.

You gotta love a movie that has nudity in its very first scene- 20 seconds into the movie. A nude model in an art class befriends some shy loser (who overacts terribly by the way). We get to meet his family as he arrives home after dropping off the girl at her place. He's abused by his controlling brother. Another brother has some mental and muscular issue and constantly twitches. Their dad in wheelchair is a sick dirty old man, a gun-wielding war veteran. These guys are rather dumb and are meant to be inject some humor.

We also get to meet the model and her friends: three smoking-hot babes who are also lovers. The girls decide to go on a trip to a cabin by a lake in a gorgeous classical car. On the way they stop at a gas station and tease and annoy the hillbilly attendants. While they drive or when they stop for a while they take time to frolic with each other.

Eventually they arrive at the cabin and spend some time bathing in the lake. While the girls are enjoying themselves at night, someone knocks on the door. It's the family of idiots, who disappointed that the girls aren't into, them start getting violent. The model ends up being killed. So the other girls plan and eventually succeed in avenging her death. Things get quite gory here and it turns out the girls have some supernatural powers.

Out of nowhere, two cops happen to be on the trail of our girls, too. They discover blood, teeth, and some evidence of foul play. When they get to the cabin, the older cop is killed immediately and the young one is captured not before he kills two of the girls. The remaining girl wants to use him before midnight to bring back her dead friends back to life through witchcraft. Last minute he escapes but someone will show up to help the witch in the end.

This movie is lower budget. Despite the budget, the movie looks very good. The main characters, the 4 girls and a couple of the other characters act very well. It's all about the girls of course and they do a great job. They are beautiful, fun, mischievous, and sexy. The love scenes among the girls are very erotic and well shot. The comedic bits aren't all the effective, but the gore is good. There are too many characters here and not enough story and character development. It would have been nice to learn something specific about each girl, or some background about the bad guys. Also missing is a sense of fear that should have been there while the girls were captured. They are terrorized but it lacks impact. There are some good gore scenes, like a head exploding in a microwave. And also some effective horror scenes involving one of the witches appearing behind the cop.

Despite the shortcomings, I liked this movie a lot. You can't take you eyes away from these girls- they are not your typical Hollywood bimbos, but have natural beauty and personality. This movie represents what B-movies should be about: blood, guts, gore, and pretty girls. Not sure why there isn't full frontal nudity though. The movie is unrated/ hard-R rating yet the camera and editor are at pains to keep things above the waist. Why not take full advantage of the rating. Yet male genital props are shown for some reason. I'm looking forward to future releases from this crew and hopefully a sequel to this movie. There's a lot of potential and skill. Most importantly this is a good start in resurrecting fun horror movies- a genre has been neglected while lame teen PG-13 "horror" as been favored.

The basic formula for the home break-in film is bad guys break-in and terrorize the women. Then the victims turn the tables. This is the basic formula except the women are witches with certain supernatural powers at midnight during the full moon. The problem is that it disobeyed the successful sub-formula. The nude scenes should start with the break-in. In this case there were ample nude scenes before the women are terrorized and none during the event.

The movie features two play modes, one with a special commentary, and by "special" they mean ride the short bus special. The DVD also includes a music CD. The sound track was better than most, but the movie was so bad, it was wasted. Michael Esparza plays Ray, the role normally assumed by David Hess in the classic home break-in movies. He did an exceptionally lousy job as the lead bad guy. What was with the weak cop subplot?

While there was a bunch of nudity, it wasn't "full frontal" as the cameras were careful to avoid that area, almost to the comical point as an Austin Powers film. If you like topless, blood, "brain sucking with a straw," bad acting, bad plot with a decent sound track, and a muscle machine you got it.

F-bomb, explicit sexual talk, sex, nudity.

Four lesbian girlfriends go on vacation to a lakeside cabin getaway only to be accosted by Caleb, an extremely shy classmate of one of the girls, and his incredibly horny dysfunctional family. The chicks aren't damsels-in-distress for long as when they decide to get revenge, all hell breaks lose.

Some editing and pacing issues hamper the movie from being as good as it seems to have wanted to have been, as does a lack of sympathy for any of the characters, and a tired lame sub-plot involving two cops who are merely obvious cannon fodder. The highlight of the film for me was less what was going on in the movie and more the great soundtrack score via Ministry's Al Jourgensen, which I just hoped would be in a better movie.

Eye Candy: Carlee Baker, Eryn Joslyn, Eve Mauro, and Robin Sydney all provide T&A (Robin I saw topless before in "Big Bad Wolf", the other three are baring for the first time) There's also nudity in some of the extras (noted with an asterisk)

My Grade: D+

DVD Extras: Optional Intro by Al Jourgensen; commentary with Director Zach Passero, Actresses Robin Sydney, Carlee Baker, & actor Justin Stone; 19 & a half minutes of bloopers & deleted scenes*; photo gallery; Advanced trailer* & theatrical trailer* for this film; and Trailers for "The Oracle", "Love me deadly"*, "Blood Sisters", & "Witchery"*

Zach Passero's "Wicked Lake" seems as if it will yet be another film inspired by Last House on the Left featuring four attractive college women besieged by a family of male weirdos while staying at a cabin by a lake. The four babes in this film seem like the kind you'd love to be in the company of during some wild orgy, but they're not..far from it. The male family, whose crippled patriarch(..proudly acknowledged as a war hero by his beloved sons) act as if they were afflicted with some sort of lunacy, the only member who seems even remotely innocent is Caleb(Marc Senter whose face is tucked away by hanging curls), but he's so petrified and psychologically damaged that even he is creepy. The ringleader of this vile foursome is Palmer(Will Keenan)who invites his family to their cabin and gets in thanks to booze he brought. Right away, Palmer forces his retarded brother to attack the girls, and it seems they are planning to sexually molest and degrade them, a signature of 70's exploitation. But, circumstances change when the clock strikes 12, Midnight, and they revert to pretty cannibalistic savages who eat human flesh with relish. Any man in their vicinity will become food on the menu. Unfortunately, two police, veteran coke-snorting, whiskey-guzzling, pot-smoking detective, Jake(Tim Thomerson) and his green partner Ray(Michael Esparza)are on the trail of these girls who leave grisly crime scenes behind, reminders of their ritualistic carnage. They partake in a ceremony, using a male victim, in order to remain immortal. Also, two hicks who work at a nearby gas station close to the lake(..the girls bought gas and goods from them)decide to attempt a chance at some action with them, meeting gruesome fates as well. These girls certainly enjoy the feasts and blood shed, very evident as they grin with blood-soaked faces as they feed.

Entering this I knew not what to expect, and was startled at it's copious amounts of naked flesh and graphic violence. I felt this is a film closer in spirit to the 70's than many horror flicks I've seen over the past 5 years or so. The female leads of this flick, Carlee Baker(Mary), Eryn Joslyn(Helen), Eve Mauro(Jill) & Robin Sydney(Ilene)really let their inhibitions go, embracing their naughty sisterhood, during scenes where they are bare and kissing each other, or feasting on the brain of a bound victim. It seems we're entering a time in this decade where filmmakers are able to hire young women willing to commit to seedier material and the characters written as are;and independent horror cinema(..thanks to more affordable equipment)is starting to resemble low budget stuff from the 70's and early 80's. The festival circuit and direct-to-DVD provides an avenue for such filmmakers willing and desiring to release more potent shockers bucking the tame trends of Hollywood fare. It's nice to see these natural looking females as well, and their willingness to bare all left me rather taken aback. They really get into their roles as savage beasts, who remain in their present form(..except for their lighted eyes)displaying glee and erotic joy embracing each other's bloody lips with a kiss. One scene, my favorite, has Robin Sydney(..as nude model Ilene, whose delicious body is shone right from the opening scene setting up her gang's eventual confrontation with the loonies later thanks to her gracious reaction to bizarre student Caleb, whose infatuation with her is outweighed by his freakish behavior)immediately kissing Caleb's bloody lip after he was socked across the face by his brother after disobeying him. They are drawn to blood which is quite expressed in various ways by the director. These gals are stunning predators who truly adhere to the phrase "looks can kill". It was a little too weird and obnoxious for my tastes, but it is certainly violent enough and an obvious draw will be the naked flesh by these four attractive leads. Should appeal to the exploitation crowd, I think, but the film's meandering narrative(..and desire to elicit giggles with it's warped and noxious sense of humor)might even alienate some of them. Still, it aims to please that crowd yearning for more..blood, babes, and boobs are all her in ample doses. The flesh eating might appeal to zombie fans because a man's nipple is ripped away along with other fleshy parts throughout his body. Another's brain is actually sucked from by a straw! And, another victim's remaining member(..it was partially removed during a war)is yanked off and spit out(OUCH).

Does this review contain spoilers? I had to put yes, however this doesn't really contain spoilers except for the first 5 or 6 minutes I put on for noise after the first part cause I found it offensive and fake. I could handle it till the autistic male started talking to the model and trying to converse was scared off and ran crying for 5 minutes. My sister is autistic and she doesn't act like that till she's triggered. I say if you want put a deranged college boy fine but leave the mentally challenged alone and stick with your sickos you handicap hating losers you wouldn't like me if I wasn't in a wheel chair! I probably going to watch a terrible zombie movie at least they don't make fun me of me like that.