- Claymore Gregg: Ah, Mrs. Muir.
- Carolyn Muir: Hi, Claymore.
- Claymore Gregg: The year is at the spring and the day is at the morn, and Martha told us/Peevey that she was gonna clean out the cellar, Mrs. Muir, and we are here to help.
- Carolyn Muir: Lovely. What's the catch?
- Claymore Gregg: Mrs. Muir, I am here to do a good deed with love in my heart.
- Carolyn Muir: What's the catch?
- Claymore Gregg: I am donating some of the things in the cellar to charity to help the less fortunate and to brighten their lives.
- Carolyn Muir: What's the catch?
- Claymore Gregg: It gives me a good tax deduction.
- Carolyn Muir: That's the catch.
- Claymore Gregg: [unhappy with his deal at the charity shop] And don't think I'm not gonna write Charity Headquarters about this, because I am.
- Mr. Homer: Do that. The last time you complained, I got a merit citation.
- Carolyn Muir: Now just listen to this: "If in 1969 your business or profession lost money, you could apply the losses against your 1969 income." Does that mean if I wrote a story and didn't sell it I could deduct the money I would've made if I HAD sold it?
- Martha Grant: Why not? Sounds reasonable to me.
- Carolyn Muir: Exactly. I think I'll do it.
- Martha Grant: At times I get the feeling there are things going on around here that you're not telling me about.
- Carolyn Muir: [laughs] Not at all, Martha.
- Martha Grant: Convince me.
- Carolyn Muir: Well, this is a completely normal family and a completely normal household and there's not a thing for you to be suspicious about.
- Martha Grant: I see.
- Carolyn Muir: N'are you convinced?
- Martha Grant: Well, my ears are, but everything in-between is still very doubtful.