Corner Gas (TV Series)

Census Sensibility (2007)

Eric Peterson: Oscar Leroy

Quotes 

• Hank Yarbo : [to a pregnant woman]  Evening, ma'am. Census. We'd just like to ask you a few questions...

  Oscar Leroy : Head count! One...

  [he points at her belly] 

  Oscar Leroy : ...and a half!

• Oscar Leroy : You don't know me, where I'm from, what my sass factor is.

• Mayor Fitzy : You're both fired.

  Oscar Leroy : You don't know how it goes down in the street! You sit here behind your desk...

  Mayor Fitzy : I don't have a desk. It's a door on two filing cabinets.

  Oscar Leroy : Oh. Well, you should have one, you're the mayor.

  Hank Yarbo : If he goes, I go.

  Mayor Fitzy : I want you to go. I'm firing you both.

  Oscar Leroy : I can't do it without him.

  Mayor Fitzy : You can't do it WITH him! You're both fired!

  Hank Yarbo : So... when do we meet our new partners?

• Hank Yarbo : [at Oscar and Emma's house]  How many people in the house, ma'am?

  Emma Leroy : 27 and a monkey. Oscar, don't waste my time.

  Hank Yarbo : You think this is a joke? This is the census, lady! Look, don't make me mad! I'll fly off the handle! I'll lose it! I'll snap!

  Oscar Leroy : Okay, calm down, pal... My partner is a loose cannon. I can't control him. Help yourself out while you still can. How many people here?

  Emma Leroy : It's gonna be one if you don't get off my step.

• Oscar Leroy : Census!

  Gilbert : Census? But Fitzy already came by.

  Oscar Leroy : Fitzy? I'm doing my own census!

  [He yells into the house] 

  Oscar Leroy : How many people here?... I'm a loose cannon. I can't control me.

• Mayor Fitzy : Normally, we hire Hank to do the census.

  Hank Yarbo : [to Oscar]  I've got experience.

  Mayor Fitzy : On the other hand, normally Hank screws it up somehow.

  Hank Yarbo : Granted.

  Mayor Fitzy : On the other other hand, Oscar, you're... Oscar. So you can see my dilemma.

  Oscar Leroy : But I need the money. Shrubs don't grow on trees.