Monk (TV Series)

Mr. Monk Is at Your Service (2007)

Sean Astin: Paul Buchanan

Photos 

Quotes 

• Paul Buchanan : Tell me, Melville. Who have you worked with? Anybody I know.

  Adrian Monk : Hmmm, I don't think so. Leland Stottlemeyer of the San Francisco... Stottlemeyers, Randy Disher, Dr. Charles Kroger...

  Paul Buchanan : Never heard of them.

  Adrian Monk : ...and Natalie Teeger.

  Paul Buchanan : Natalie? She grew up right down the street. I went to school with her when she was still Natalie Davenport. She had a big crush on me and wouldn't leave me alone.

  Adrian Monk : Is that right?

  [referring to the fact that earlier, Natalie told him that Paul Buchanan beat up her boyfriend in high school] 

  Paul Buchanan : How does she look? Does she still have that tattoo?

  Adrian Monk : [surprised]  She has a tattoo?

  Paul Buchanan : Well you wouldn't have seen it, not where she put it.

  [He takes a drink] 

  Paul Buchanan : Look, I'm having a big luncheon on Sunday. A bunch of the old fossils from the family foundation. Do you think Natalie would show up? It would make the afternoon a whole lot better.

  Adrian Monk : I don't think... maybe.

  Paul Buchanan : Well, Adrian Melville, I go with my gut, and my gut likes what it sees. If Natalie Teeger recommends you, that's good enough for me. Congratulations, you're my new butler.

• [Paul Buchanan finishes looking at the completed luncheon table that Monk has carefully organized and straightened out] 

  Paul Buchanan : Well I don't have to remind you about how important these stupid luncheons are! The old bats are gunning for me. They want me to screw up, they *expect* me to screw up! And I intend to dissapoint them. Mr. Melville.

  Adrian Monk : [standing in front of a covered canvas]  Thank you. Mr. Pepperidge?

  [Mr. Pepperidge pulls the tarp off the canvas, revealing a map of the house] 

  Adrian Monk : I've divided the house into four zones.

  Susie the Maid : Mr. Stilson normally has us start in the kitchen.

  Adrian Monk : [retracts his pointer]  Mr. Stilson is no longer with us. So from now on we're going to be cleaning the house my way. The Monk way.

  Susie the Maid : Who's Monk?

  Adrian Monk : [quickly improvising so as to avoid blowing his cover]  You see... I grew up in a monastery and the monks were very demanding. We were cleaning constantly, 18 hours a day. Mostly dusting. It was very dusty. Crypts, catacombs, it was holy dust. But still... you know... dust. And that is the Monk way.

  Paul Buchanan : Well you heard the man. We'll be doing it the Monk way.

• Paul Buchanan : [meets Monk for the job interview]  All right, so you're here from the agency. Where's your resume?

  Adrian Monk : I lost it.

  Paul Buchanan : You lost your resume. Well that doesn't bode well, does it. What's your name?

  Adrian Monk : Adrian...

  Paul Buchanan : Adrian?

  Adrian Monk : [looks at the spine of a copy of the book "Moby Dick" by Herman Melville]  Melville. Adrian Melville.

• Paul Buchanan : Thank you, Melville. Your attention to detail is - is pathological.

• Edward Stilson : It won't happen again.

  Paul Buchanan : You got that right.

  [pulls out a gun and shoots Stilson on the spot] 

  Paul Buchanan : [Then, to the dead body...]  Thank you, Stilson. That will be all.

  [He then burns one of Stilson's letters] 

• 911 Dispatcher : [on the 9-1-1 call]  9-1-1. What is your emergency?

  Paul Buchanan : [impersonating his father]  My wife! She's dead!

  911 Dispatcher : Where are you?

  Paul Buchanan : On Sweeney Road. Right near Spider Lake. I'm feeling her pulse! She's definitely dead! She's not breathing, her neck is broken. I don't think I can

  [fakes coughing, simulating a heart attack] 

  Paul Buchanan : Oh God! I can't breath!

  911 Dispatcher : Are you all right?

  Paul Buchanan : My heart!

  [the line goes dead]