- Tony: What happened?
- Maxxie: Anwar's just switched about me being... y'know
- Tony: Blonde?
- Maxxie: No!
- Tony: Short?
- Maxxie: Gay!
- Tony: [pause] Shall I give you head?
- Maxxie: What?
- Tony: [grins] Cheer you up
- Maxxie: For fuck's sake! You're supposed to be my friend Tony and I come in here with a problem, okay?
- [Tony kisses Maxxie]
- Maxxie: You fuck
- Tony: We're in Russia! I wanna try something new
- Maxxie: I'm, not a hobby Tony. You're not taking up canoeing here
- Tony: I've been canoeing
- Maxxie: What about Michelle?
- Tony: Loves canoeing
- Chris Miles: What did you do with the drugs man?
- Anwar: What, I don't have any.
- Chris Miles: Thought you were gonna put them in your turbun?
- Anwar: I don't wear a turban Chris.
- Chris Miles: I thought you were gonna get one especially?
- Anwar: Now what?
- Angie: Just walk on!
- Anwar: I'm trying to but they just look so disappointed that I'm not a terrorist.
- Tony Stonem: Well, you're a very dull Muslim, Anwar.
- Sid Jenkins: All right, Maxx?
- Maxxie: No.
- Tony: Why?
- Maxxie: Well, Anwar's decided to become a Muslim.
- Sid Jenkins: What, like, more Muslim than he was already?
- Maxxie: A bit more Muslim, yeah.
- [the morning after Michelle has seen Tony and Maxxie together]
- Michelle Richardson: Tony...
- Tony: Yes, Nips?
- Michelle Richardson: Have you got something to tell me?
- Tony: Um, I don't know. I like your hair?
- [Michelle stares at him in disbelief]
- Tony: No? Your top's nice? I love you?
- [pause]
- Tony: Any of those?
- Michelle Richardson: No.
- [under Anka's covers]
- Sid: Every time. Every fucking time. 'Buy three ounces of weed, Sidney.' 'Oh yes, sir.' 'Shove a bag of pills up your ass, Sidney.' 'Oh right away.' 'Come help me save some random chick.' 'Oh could I?' What have we learned, Sidney? Your friends are shitheads.
- Sid: You would not believe what I've just been through. I jumped out of a window, got chased into a bush, waded through a river. All the while being chased by your nutter of a da. But it's okay though because I reckon I lost him.
- Anwar Kharral: Now what?
- Angie: Just walk off!
- Anwar Kharral: I'm trying, it's just that they look so disappointed when i'm not a terrorist.
- Tony Stonem: Well, you're a very dull Muslim, Anwar.
- [Everyone stares at him]
- Tony Stonem: Very dull, indeed.