Muppet Babies (TV Series)

Gonzee's Playhouse Channel (1990)

Laurie O'Brien: Piggy

Quotes 

• Skeeter : And now, boys and girls, it's time for the best show on TV, brought to you courtesy of Nanny's video camera, Gonzee's Playhouse!

  Babies : What? Huh?

  Piggy : Oh, brother.

• Piggy : [to Gonzo]  Okay, blue beak, just what are you and Skeeter Spielberg here doing anyway?

• Gonzo : Piggy, my dear.

  Piggy : Watch it.

  Gonzo : Uh, sorry. Gonzee's Playhouse is proud to be the first and greatest show on the all new, all kids channel!

  Babies : The what?

  Gonzo : The TV channel where all the shows are made by kids.

  Piggy : That's silly.

  Gonzo : For kids!

  Piggy : Dumb.

  Gonzo : And starring kids!

  Piggy : Starring? As in moi? Ooh, this is a great idea, Gonzo! Where do I sign up?

  Skeeter : Oh, brother. I was afraid of this.

• [Piggy replaces Fozzie as Winnie the Pooh] 

  Kermit : But, Piggy, Pooh is a bear.

  Piggy : Not anymore.

  Kermit : Oh, right.

  Piggy : Okay, Beanie, go ahead.

  Bean Bunny : [looking at his book]  It's time for Piggy the Pooh.

  Kermit : Ah, sheesh.

• Bean Bunny : [narrating]  Here we go. Ahem. One specially sunny morning, Winnie the Pig...

  Piggy : That's Piggy the Pooh.

• Piggy : Oh, me, oh, my. I'm so hungry, I could eat my house.

  Bean Bunny : [narrating]  But first, she had to do her Pooh plumpness exercises.

  Piggy : My what?

  Bean Bunny : Plumpness exercises. 10 tiny toe-touches, 15 little leg lifts.

  Piggy : You don't say.

  [walks to Bean as he continues] 

  Bean Bunny : 12 pushy push-ups, 4 chinny chin-ups.

  Piggy : Wait, wait, wait, wait. Let me see that.

  [takes the book and looks at the words] 

  Piggy : Oh, here's the problem.

  [flips the pages] 

  Piggy : Let's just skip ahead to the eating part, shall we?

• Bean Bunny : [continues narrating]  That sunny morning, Porky the Pig...

  Piggy : That's Piggy the Pooh.

  Bean Bunny : Right. Had a scrumptious sort of wild craving for...

  Piggy : Chocolate pudding, I bet!

  Bean Bunny : No. Honey.

  Piggy : What? Excuse me.

  [walks over to Bean] 

  Piggy : Um, Bean, did you just call me "honey"?

  Bean Bunny : Uh, gee, I hope not.

• [Animal, dressed in black and white stripes, pops out of Piggy's cupboard] 

  Piggy : YAAAAH! Animal! What show are you doing?

  Animal : Me Beetlejuice! Later, gator! Ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya!

  [turns into an alligator and leaves] 

• [Scooter sneezes his puppet off his hand] 

  Kermit : YAAIII! HE SNEEZED HIS FACE OFF!

  Scooter : What? Oh, no! This is awful! Somebody do something! Quick!

  [the "Please Stand By" message appears] 

  Rowlf : No problem. Ahem, and now back to the dopey adventures of Piggy the Pooch.

  Piggy : THAT'S POOH!

  Rowlf : WHATEVER!

• [Bean appears as Eeyore the donkey] 

  Bean Bunny : Hello.

  Piggy : Um, who are you?

  Bean Bunny : Eyesore.

  Piggy : I'll say.

  Bean Bunny : And this is my incredibly depressing place.

  Piggy : No kidding. Um, listen, Eyesore, I was wondering if perhaps you know where I might find some honey.

  Bean Bunny : Well, if there was any honey, which there's probably not, I'd say it's over that way, which it probably isn't, unless I'm wrong, which I probably am. So, no.

  Piggy : Boy, lighten up, will ya, Eyesore.

  Bean Bunny : Sorry. I didn't mean to depress you, which I probably did. I just...

  [Piggy covers his mouth] 

  Piggy : Let it go.

• [Bean appears as Tigger] 

  Bean Bunny : Hi. I'm your best friend, Beany.

  Piggy : But... But I thought you were the donkey.

  Bean Bunny : I was. Low budget show.

• Piggy : [after locating the pot of honey in a tree]  Oh, this is great. Now what am I supposed to do, tiddely goof?

  Bean Bunny : [as a donkey again]  Well, the story says that Piggy the Pork chop has to find a way to get up the tree to get the honeypot.

  Piggy : Are you out of your little donkey brain, Eyesore?

  Bean Bunny : That's what it says.