- Corrado 'Junior' Soprano: Guy comes home with a bouquet of flowers for his wife. "I guess I'll have to spread my legs now.", she says. "Why?", he asks, "don't ya have a vase?".
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: Hey, Tone. Remember when we all rented that house down the Shore? With the bedbugs? Heh, heh.
- Tony Soprano: [nods]
- Peter 'Beansie' Gaeta: Summer of '78. Carlo, Silvio, Frankie Napoli.
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: Place up the beach. Sonny Spits from the Bronx rented it? That's where that hippie kid "mysteriously" drowned during that party. Heh, heh.
- Tony Soprano: [glares at Paulie]
- Peter 'Beansie' Gaeta: Hey, Tony. You OK?
- Tony Soprano: Yeah, yeah.
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: You sure, T? You're being kinda quiet.
- Tony Soprano: Well, it's 'cause, uh, "remember when" is the lowest form of conversation.
- Tony Soprano: [gets up and leaves]
- Peter 'Beansie' Gaeta: [about Paulie] Back in the day, 70's, fuckin' 80's, you didn't make a move in North Jersey without this one up your ass.
- Anika: [laughs] I wasn't even born yet.
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: Please. Wanna talk about stand-up guys?
- [points to Beansie; everyone is quiet because Beansie is wheelchair bound]
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: Sorry, Beans.
- Tony Soprano: You know, no offense but you ever had yourself checked for Tourette's?
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: What?
- Tony Soprano: Tourette's Syndrome. Seriously. "Heh, heh. Heh, heh." Maybe you got a tic or somethin'?
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: I don't know. Like some people grind their teeth. When I'm nervous, tense or somethin'.
- Corrado 'Junior' Soprano: What did the blind man say when he passed the fish market? "Good morning, ladies."
- Corrado 'Junior' Soprano: Two fags decide they want a baby. So they jack off in a cup, use the sperm to get a lady friend of theirs pregnant. Nine months later they go to the hospital. They see all the babies in the nursery. "Look," they say, "Our baby's the sweetest one. He's not even cryin' at all!". Uh, uh... Goddamn it, what the fuck is it?
- Carter Chong: "Now he's not crying," the nurse says, "Just wait till we get the pacifier out of his ass."
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [about Beansie] Oof, Madon'! He pisses in a bag now? Jesus Christ, fuckin' kill me now. Huh!
- Anika: How do you know Peter?
- Tony Soprano: Who Peter? Beansie? An old friend from the neighborhood.
- Anika: So the other guy, the one with the white hair thingies, what's his name again?
- Tony Soprano: Paulie.
- [grimaces]
- Anika: Right. What is he, like, your best friend?
- Tony Soprano: He say that?
- Anika: I just figured the way he was talking. Honestly, I thought he was your dad at first.
- Tony Soprano: There was a time when I wished he was. He used to work for my dad.
- Anika: I know he told me.
- Tony Soprano: [looks angry]
- [Tony and Paulie are driving through Maryland]
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: Chevy Chase. Fuck ever happen to him?
- Corrado 'Junior' Soprano: [to Warren] I saw your girl today at pet therapy. How she keep her coat so shiny?
- Tony Soprano: [Referring to Paulie] you should've seen him out there, he could handle himself his got the balls of twenty year old, his my friend but can't stop, his such a bladder mouth, he asks me not tell anyone about his prostate I say "sure" then he tells everybody
- Peter 'Beansie' Gaeta: He was always like that, You forgot, one time I fell asleep while he was on the phone, I wake up twenty minutes later and he was still going
- Tony Soprano: I've got to say, it concerns me lately
- Peter 'Beansie' Gaeta: People live alone and they get like that it's sad
- Tony Soprano: [Referring to Beanie's wife] you married a good woman the way she stood by you?
- Peter 'Beansie' Gaeta: That's what Paulie doesn't have and I'm speaking to your point, his got no wife and no kids
- Tony Soprano: His got so steady income stream either, except for Barone which is coming to an end, I told him if you can't legitimate income your vulnerable to the Feds he don't do shit about it
- Peter 'Beansie' Gaeta: I think you're worrying for nothing
- Tony Soprano: Things are going great finally, maybe I'm just waiting "for the other shoe to drop"
- Peter 'Beansie' Gaeta: All I know is Paulie Gualtieri is a standup guy
- Tony Soprano: Has he been ever to the test? He had this painting in his house, I was all dressed up as a general
- Peter 'Beansie' Gaeta: [laughing] I heard about that
- Tony Soprano: It pissed me off I thought it was a fucking joke but now I don't think it was
- Peter 'Beansie' Gaeta: He loves Tony, your all his got, you, the guys, and his image
- Tony Soprano: I love him too
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [while watching the FBI excavate the basement of the location where Tony carried out his first hit] Danny says he hears its Larry Barese's been talking. A lot of work for a dead fuckin bookie. You made "your bones" with that kid huh?
- Tony Soprano: Yeah
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: Old Zeepa Pean's house: you were shaky a little but you did good. I remember telling you your old man. Twenty-five years T, its possible there's nothing left
- Tony Soprano: There'd be bones, teeth
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: What're we going to do?
- Tony Soprano: [Implying they're going to leave town until the attention and heat passes] we're going to pack our toothbrushes
- Carter Chong: [while entering his room] I brought you your tea
- Corrado 'Junior' Soprano: [before giving him plastic buttons, they use as poker chips] You did a good job tonight kid, here's a taste
- Carter Chong: [waves them off, refusing them] It's alright
- Corrado 'Junior' Soprano: [insistently] Take it: you earned it
- Corrado 'Junior' Soprano: There was a time once I was a kid, my old man was a stonemason, took me to work, a job, building a wall a rich lady's garden. She comes home, I help carry her groceries, she goes to give me quarter, which was a lot in those days but I say No. She goes in, no sooner than she closes the door, my old man gave me a crack right across the mouth
- Corrado 'Junior' Soprano: [impersonating his father with an Italian accent] What're you a millionaire? You don't need money? You don't like to eat?
- Carter Chong: Wow
- Corrado 'Junior' Soprano: Even still, he was right: he made me walk home that night, eleven fuckin miles from Essex Fells back to Newark
- Carter Chong: [surprised] I'm from Essex Fells
- Corrado 'Junior' Soprano: A rich kid, huh?
- Carter Chong: Once in third grade, I got a ninety-six on my spelling test: highest mark in the class, I was so proud, I brought it home to show my dad, he says What happened to the other four points?
- Carter Chong: [suddenly angry, shouting and cursing at the memory of his father] Fuck you, fuck you
- Carter Chong: [reciting the letter Junior asked him to write] "Dear Vice President Cheney, as a powerful man all too familiar with accidental gunplay, I am writing in the hope that you will "intervene" in my case, like yourself, I was involved in an "unfortunate incident" when the gun I was "handling" misfired"
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: this is nice, huh? A little road trip, just you and me: all things considered of course
- Tony Soprano: just like the old days
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [referring to the first person Tony killed] Willie fuckin Overall. After all these years...
- Tony Soprano: yeah
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: I remember driving around with that prick in the trunk looking for a spot. What was it like, a week before AJ was born, right?
- Tony Soprano: no, Meadow
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: nice she's gonna be a doctor
- Tony Soprano: yeah
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: remember we took you to Lugers after? Me, Puss, Ralphie?
- Tony Soprano: [while on a fishing boat] What, you're not hungry?
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: My fuckin stomach
- Tony Soprano: When you went down below, I thought I saw a whale
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: No shit
- Tony Soprano: Made me think of Ginny Sack
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [amused] Heh
- Tony Soprano: That joke Ralph made about her, that was some funny shit: gotta have a sense of humor, right?
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: Yeah
- Tony Soprano: I heard she took some office job, selling insurance. It was you who told him, right? It's no big deal, I can hardly resist
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: Grapevine, I don't know
- Tony Soprano: yeah
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: He was a funny prick, that Ralph, Gladiator fixation, the time he hit Georgie in the eye with the chain
- Tony Soprano: I would've loved to see John's face when he heard that crack. Always holier than now because he didn't fuck other women
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [while in the restaurant inside a hotel] Your dad, boy, him and me made this trip a thousand times back in the sixties
- Tony Soprano: He had a "piece" of that dog track, right?
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: Among other things. This one time, my first trip ever, we're going through Georgia, his got a fifty-nine Eldorado, with the fins
- Tony Soprano: With the Biarritz, he used to let me steer
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: I'm like twenty at the time, I'm a kid, never been five miles out of Newark. Anyway, I'm driving, we get pulled over, state trooper with the hat and fuckin sunglasses. I got no driver's license
- Tony Soprano: [amused] Of course not
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: I'm shitting a brick. This is the deep fuckin south we're in and we're Italian, I turn to your dad "What do I tell this prick? "Relax", he says, tell him "Your cousin's on the job", gives me a southern sounding name, guy comes over, "My cousin's a state trooper too", I tell him. "Maybe you know him?" "What's his name? Barney Fife, the prick gives me a shot, I don't know what the fuck hit me, your dad's pissing himself. I mean, I never watch TV, how the fuck do I know, right?
- Tony Soprano: So, what happened?
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: Your dad had to "duke" the guy a hundred fuckin dollars, probably a month's salary in those days
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: You know I remember you around that time, when I was bad, my dad used to threaten me with he was gonna get uncle Paulie to come "get" me
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [chuckles] Fuckin Johnny Boy, huh? He loved you, my friend. I remember the night you were born, only time I ever saw him cry
- Tony Soprano: It's funny, you know, I never knew where I stood with him, like he didn't believe in me or something?
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: You fuckin kidding? He trusted you enough to give you the Willie Overall thing, you were what? Twenty-four?
- Tony Soprano: twenty-two
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: So, there you go then
- Mrs. Chong: [while visiting him a psychiatric hospital] how are you feeling?
- Carter Chong: [uninterested] fine
- Mrs. Chong: maybe you can clear something up? Dr. Mandl says you've been acting "aggressively" towards other patients?
- Carter Chong: first of all, that is total fuckin bullshit and secondly why not just lead off with that?
- Mrs. Chong: what are you talking about?
- Carter Chong: stop pretending to give a shit on how I feel
- Mrs. Chong: now, "apparently" you're becoming a bully. Dr. Mandl feels your modeling your actions on the wrong people
- Carter Chong: [surprised] really, like who?
- Carter Chong: [referring to Junior Soprano] you know who, that gangster
- Carter Chong: [points at her] you of all people should know not to believe what you read in the paper: all that crap they wrote about daddy
- Mrs. Chong: that was the Wall Street Journal: that was entirely different
- Carter Chong: it's never enough, is it? My whole time at MIT, you told me to go out and make friends. Now I finally do, learn to assert myself just a "little", suddenly, that's a negative