Flight of the Conchords (TV Series)

Mugged (2007)

Bret McKenzie: Bret

Photos 

Quotes 

• Murray : He may be dead.

  Dave : He maybe did what?

  Murray : No, he may be dead.

  Dave : What didn't he maybe do?

  Murray : He maybe *dead*.

  Bret : Dead.

  Dave : Are you guys fucking with me?

  Murray : He maybe dead, not alive.

  Dave : Ohh...

• Jemaine : You abandoned me. You left me to die.

  Bret : Well, I wouldn't have done it if I'd known you were going to hassle me about it.

• Jemaine : Murray, I was thinking perhaps we could do gigs at night.

  Murray : No.

  Jemaine : Yes. Most bands -

  Murray : No.

  Jemaine : Most bands play at night.

  Murray : Not again. We've talked about this.

  Jemaine : Most bands play at night.

  Murray : It's too dangerous out there at night.

  Jemaine : We go around walking around at night all the time.

  Murray : Well, you know, anything could happen. You could get run over, pickpocketed, erm... fall down a manhole, bump into people, murdered... imagine that. Or even just ridiculed.

  Jemaine : We've never been ridiculed.

  Bret : No.

  Murray : You haven't?

  Bret : No.

  Murray : Well, that's a surprise. I get ridiculed all the time.

  Bret : Really?

  Murray : Yeah.

  [in a deep voice] 

  Murray : Hey, ginger balls.

  [Ii his voice] 

  Murray : You know?

  Jemaine : That was Bret. He called you that.

  Bret : Oh, the other night.

  Murray : Well, it's not just you, Bret. It's all the time. And it's not just "ginger balls", you know?

  Bret : I thought that was your nickname.

  Murray : No!

• Murray : [after talking about being Jemaine left to the muggers]  Why didn't you tell me about this two days ago after it happened?

  Bret : Because I thought he would have come home by then.

• Jemaine : You better watch out, Bret knows karate.

  Bret : Yea, I've got a book on karate... but I haven't actually read it yet.

• Bret : [while being mugged]  But Jemaine loves that camera-phone.

  Jemaine : You can keep it.

• Dave : [on Jemaine]  I never understood a word that guy said, what was that he always said?

  Bret : 'What'?

  Dave : Yeah, 'wuht'.

• Dave : Hey guys, remember that time he got his hand caught in that jar? What a dick. I mean, who gets their hand caught in a jar? What a big fucking asshole he was.

  Bret : That was actually me.

  Murray : That was Bret.

  Dave : Are you sure? Cause I thought...

  Murray : It was Bret, David. Jemaine was the one who helped you out. And he helped you when you got your head stuck in the chair. Remember?

  Bret : Yeah.

  Murray : You were there for hours.

• Bret : There ain't no party like my Nana's tea party. Hey! Ho!

• Murray : Band agenda. Item 1: haircut. Bret.

  Bret : No. I won't get it done.

  Murray : Well, get it cut! You don't hear of professional musicians with long hair.

  Bret : Led Zeppelin.

  Murray : I mean a man. It needs a trim.

  Bret : Yours is pretty long, mate.

• Bret : At least I didn't kill a monkey.