- Nurse Carla Espinosa: Turk? Should I get a male stripper for Elliot's bachelorette party?
- Dr. Bob Kelso: Are you looking for a Caucasian boy or more exotic fare? What? Once spring rolls around, Enid gets a little randy so I throw a 20 to Churro, our neighbor's Guatemalan house boy, to get in our basement and let Enid chase him around in a wheelchair until the juice runs out. Churro hates America...
- Turk: Yeah, I wonder why...
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Is it still funny to yell, "Get a room"? I don't care, I'm goin' for it.
- [to Lloyd and Sharisse making out]
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Get a room!
- Dr. Cox: I know what Kim did to you was just crazy, but pregnant women are among a select group of people who are actually allowed to act insane. Much like sports mascots, local weathermen, theme park performers, and that guy with the question-mark jacket who teaches people how to get free money from the government.