- Cyril Sneer: [to Ralph] Cut the banter, bandit face! Who's responsible for this?
- Ralph Raccoon: I am!
- Melissa Raccoon: I am!
- Bert Raccoon: [stammering] They are!
- Bert Raccoon: [sniffling] Aw, geez. I feel like my whole world is disappearing!
- Schaeffer: [patting Bert gently on the back] So do we, Bert.
- Bert Raccoon: Yeah. Sure.
- [Bert rushes down to the front room, fit as a fiddle]
- Bert Raccoon: That does it! This is the last time Cyril Sneer tries to take over our forest!
- Schaeffer: Bert! You're up!
- Bert Raccoon: Huh, you're darn right I'm up!
- [Schaeffer and Melissa, realizing Bert had been faking his illness, exchange knowing glances]
- Bert Raccoon: And I don't intend to lie still again till Cyril Sneer and his silly schemes are put to a permanent stop!
- Melissa Raccoon: I thought you were sick?
- Bert Raccoon: Huh? Oh.
- [He giggles sheepishly]
- Bert Raccoon: It's amazing what modern science can do.