Doctor Who (TV Series)
The Sound of Drums (2007)
John Simm: The Master
Photos
Quotes
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The Master : This country has been sick, this country needs healing, this country needs medicine - in fact I'd go so far as to say that, what this country really needs, right now, is a Doctor.
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The Master : No. No. That wasn't funny. You see, I'm not making myself very clear. Funny is like this.
[he grins]
The Master : Not funny is like this.
[he frowns]
The Master : And right now, I'm not like
[grins]
The Master : I'm like
[frowns]
The Master : because you are traitors. Yes, YOU are! As soon as you saw the votes swinging MY way, you abandoned your parties and jumped on the Saxon bandwagon!
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[the Master uses a weapon on Jack]
The Master : Laser Screwdriver. Who'd have sonic? And the best part is he isn't dead for long, I get to kill him again!
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President : Saxon, what in God's name are you doing?
The Master : I'm taking control, Uncle Sam. Starting with you.
[to the Toclafane]
The Master : Kill him!
[the Toclafane vaporise Winters]
The Master : Now then, citizens of the Earth; please attend carefully!
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The Master : A glorious day. Downing Street rebuilt. The cabinet in session. Let the work of government begin.
[throws dossiers into the air]
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The Master : Britain, Britian, Britain. What extraordinary times we've had. Just a few years ago this world was so small. And then they came. Out of the unknown. Falling from the sky. You've seen it happen. Big Ben, destoryed. A spaceship over London. All those ghosts and metal men. The Christmas Star that came to kill. Time and time again, and the government told you nothing. Well not me. Not Harold Saxon. Because my purpose, here today, is to tell you this. Citizens of Great Britain. I have been contacted. A message for humanity from beyond the stars.
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The Master : Before we start all that, I just wanted to say: thank you. Thank you, one and all, you ugly, fat-faced bunch of wet, snivelling traitors!
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[on the Teletubbies]
The Master : Television, in their stomachs. Now that, is evolution.
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[Martha has "Mr. Saxon" on her phone. The doctor takes it from her]
The Doctor : I'm here.
The Master : [the Master looks up from the speaker phone, takes his cell phone out of his pocket and turns it on] Doctor.
The Doctor : Master.
The Master : [smiles] I love it when you say my name.
The Doctor : You chose it. A psychiatrist's field day.
The Master : As you chose yours. The man who makes people better. How santimonious is that?
The Doctor : So! Prime Minister, then.
The Master : I know! It's good, isn't it?
The Doctor : Who are those creatures? Because they're not the Toclafane; that's just a made-up name like the bogeyman.
The Master : Do you remember all those made-up tales about the Toclafane when we were kids? Back home? Where IS it, Doctor?
The Doctor : [pause] Gone.
The Master : [standing up in disbelief] How can Gallifrey be GONE?
The Doctor : [pause] It burnt.
The Master : And the Time Lords?
The Doctor : Dead.
[pause]
The Doctor : And the Daleks. More or less. What happened to you?
The Master : The Time Lords only resurrected me because they knew I'd be the perfect warrior for a Time War. I was there when the Dalek Emperor took control of the Cruciform. I saw it. I ran. I ran so far. I made myself human so they would never find me. Because... because I was so scared.
The Doctor : I know.
The Master : ALL of them? But not YOU. Which must mean...
The Doctor : I was the only one who could end it. And I tried. I did. I tried everything.
The Master : What did it feel like, though? Two almighty civilizations, burning.
[sighs at the thought]
The Master : Oh, tell me, how did that feel?
The Doctor : Stop it!
The Master : You must have been like God.
The Doctor : I've been alone ever since. But not anymore. Don't you see? All we've got is each other!
The Master : Are you asking me out on a date?
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The Doctor : You can stop this right now. We can leave this planet. We can fight across the constellations if that's what you want, but not on Earth!
The Master : It's too late.
The Doctor : Why do you say that?
The Master : The drumming.
[taps out a drumbeat on the table with his fingers]
The Master : Can't you hear it?
[taps the beat again, continuously]
The Master : Inside my head. I thought it would stop. But it never does. It never, ever stops. Inside my head. The drumming, Doctor, the constant drumming.
The Doctor : I can help you. Please, let me help.
The Master : It's everywhere. Listen. Listen. Listen. Here come the drums... here come... the drums...
[a young man is loitering, beating out the drumbeat against his legs, just like Martha earlier, just like the beggar earlier, just like the Master... ~tum tum te tum~]
The Doctor : What have you done? Tell me, how have you done this? What are those creatures? Tell me!
The Master : Oooo, look! You're on TV!
The Doctor : Stop it! Answer me!
The Master : No, really, you're on telly! You and your little band, which by the way is ticking every demographic box, so congratulations on that. God, there you are.
[laughs]
The Master : You're public enemies 1, 2, and 3. Oh! And you can tell "Handsome Jack" that I've sent his little gang off on a wild goose chase to the Himalayas, so you won't be getting any help from them.
[the Doctor turns to look at Martha and Jack]
The Master : Go on, off you go, why not start out by turning to the...
[the Doctor turns to the right]
The Master : RIGHT!
The Doctor : [looks up and sees a CCTV camera] He can see us!
[He raises his sonic screwdriver and shorts out the CCTV]
The Master : Oh! You public menace! Better start running. Go on... run!
The Doctor : [closes the phone] He's got control of everything.
Martha Jones : What do we do?
Captain Jack Harkness : We've got nowhere to go.
Martha Jones : Doctor, what do we do?
The Master : Run, Doctor! Run for your life!
The Doctor : We run.
[the Doctor, Martha, and Jack all run]
The Master : [screaming into the phone] I SAID... RUN!
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[last lines]
The Master : And so it came to pass that the human race fell, and the Earth was no more. And I looked down upon my new dominion as Master of all; and I thought it good.
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The Master : So this is your reward.
[he puts on a mouth and nose gas-mask]
Albert Dumfries : Excuse me, Prime Minister, but do you mind my asking, what is that?
The Master : [muffled] It's a gas mask.
Albert Dumfries : I beg your pardon?
The Master : [lifts the mask, repeating himself] It's a gas mask.
Albert Dumfries : Yes, but why are you wearing it?
The Master : [muffled] Well, because of the gas.
Albert Dumfries : I'm sorry?
The Master : [lifts mask again, repeating himself] Because of the gas.
Albert Dumfries : What gas?
The Master : [gesturing to the room, muffled] This gas.
[gas is released into the room from the speakerphone on the conference desk]
Albert Dumfries : You're insane!
[the Master grins and gives a double thumbs up]
Albert Dumfries : [Albert dies, followed by the rest of the Cabinet]
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The Master : So America is completely in charge?
President : Since Britain elected an ass, yes!
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Vivien Rook : Mister Saxon, I was just having a little joke with poor little Lucy.
The Master : Oh, but you're absolutely right. Harold Saxon doesn't exist.
Vivien Rook : Then tell me. Who are you?
The Master : I am the Master. And these...
[the Toclafane teleport beside Saxon]
The Master : ...are my friends.
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The Master : Here come the drums!
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The Doctor : The Toclafane... what are they?
[the Master bends closer and mimes that he can't hear him]
The Doctor : Who are they?
The Master : Doctor, if I told you the truth, your hearts would break.
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The Master : Can't you hear it, Mrs Rook?
Vivien Rook : What do you mean?
The Master : The drum beat... the drums are coming closer... and closer.
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Female Toclafane : People of the Earth, we come in peace. We bring great gifts. We bring technology and wisdom and protection and all we ask in return is your friendship.
The Master : Oh, sweet. And this species has identified itself. They're called the Toclafane.
The Doctor : What?
The Master : And tomorrow morning, they will appear. Not in secret, but to all of you. Diplomatic relations with a new species will begin. Tomorrow, we take our place in the universe.
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Vivien Rook : All of it-the schooldays, his degree, even his mother and father- it's all invented. Look, Harold Saxon never went to Cambridge. There was no Harold Saxon. The thing is, it's obvious. The forgery is screaming out, and yet no one can see it. It's as if he's mesmerised the entire world.
Lucy Saxon : I think perhaps you should leave now.
Vivien Rook : Eighteen months ago, he became real. This is his first honest-to-God appearance, just after the downfall of Harriet Jones and at the exact same time they launched the Archangel Network.
Lucy Saxon : Mrs. Rook, now, stop it.
Vivien Rook : Even now they've said that the Cabinet's gone into seclusion. I mean, what does that mean, 'seclusion'?
Lucy Saxon : How should I know?
Vivien Rook : But I've got plenty of research on you. Yes, good family, Roedean, not especially bright but essentially harmless, and that's why I'm asking you, Lucy, I am begging you, if you have seen anything, heard anything, even the slightest thing that would give you cause to doubt him...
Lucy Saxon : I think...
Vivien Rook : Yes?
Lucy Saxon : There was a time when we first met. I wondered... but he was so good to my father and he said...
Vivien Rook : What? Just tell me, sweetheart.
Lucy Saxon : The thing is, I made my choice.
Vivien Rook : I'm sorry?
Lucy Saxon : For better or for worse. Isn't that right, Harry?
[Mr. Saxon appears at the doorway]
The Master : My faithful companion.
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The Master : Tomorrow we take our place in the universe. Every man, woman and child. Every teacher and chemist and lorry driver and farmer. I dunno, every medical student?
[the Doctor, Martha and Jack look shocked. The doctor looks behind the TV and finds a bomb]
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The Master : Jelly baby?
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The Master : Sorry. Sorry, I have this effect, people just get obsessed. Is it the smile? Is it the aftershave? Is it the capacity to laugh at myself? I don't know; it's crazy!
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The Master : Shall we decimate them? That sounds good, nice word, decimate.
[to the Toclafane]
The Master : Remove one tenth of the population!
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[about Jack and Martha]
The Master : Oh, look. It's the girlie and the freak! Although I'm not sure which is which.
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The Master : So, earthlings! Um... basically, end of the world.
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Lucy Saxon : You promised, you said Archangel was one hundred percent.
The Master : Oh... ninety nine, ninety eight?
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The Master : You know what it's like... new job, all that paperwork. I think it's down the back of the settee. I did have a quick look, I found a pen, a sweet, a bus ticket, and er... have you met the wife?
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The Master : Anything I could do? I could make a tea, or is that not American enough? How about some grits? What are grits anyway?
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The Master : Professor Lazarus, remember him? And his genetic manipulation devise. What, did you think that little Tish got that job merely by coincidence? I've been laying traps for you all this time. And if I can concentrate all that Lazarus technology into one little screwdriver... But ohh, if only I had the Doctor's biological code. Oh, wait a minute, I do! I've got his hand! And if Lazarus made himself younger, what if I reverse it? Another... hundred years?
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Martha Jones : Oh my life; you gotta trust me. Go to Boxer, stay with him, don't tell anyone, just hide.
[we see Mr. Saxon listening in to the phonecall]
The Master : Ooh, a nice little game of hide and seek. I love that. But I'll find you Martha Jones. Been a long time since we saw each other. Must be what, a hundred trillion years?
Martha Jones : Let them go Saxon!
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Lucy Saxon : But if she's asking questions then who else? How much time have we got?
[Saxon hugs her]
The Master : Ssh. Tommorrow morning. That's when everything ends.
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Female Toclafane : Is the machine ready?
The Master : Tomorrow morning. It reaches critical at 8.02 precisely.
Female Toclafane : We have to escape, because it's coming, sir. The darkness, the never ending darkness. The terribly terrible cold. We have to run and run and run.
The Master : Eight o'clock tomorrow morning. Tell your people. The world is waiting.
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President : My name is Arthur Colman Winters, President Elect of the United States of America and designated representative of the United Nations. I welcome you to the Planet Earth and its associated Moon.
Male Toclafane : [complaining] You're not The Master!
Female Toclafane : We like the Mister Master!
Male Toclafane : We don't like you!
President : [confused] I... can be Master, if you so wish. I will accept mastery over you, if that is God's will...
Male Toclafane : Man is stupid! The Master is our friend!
Female Toclafane : Where's my Master? Pretty-please?
The Master : Oh, all right then, it's me! Ta-da!
[stands up and laughs]
The Master : Sorry. Sorry, I have this effect. People just get obsessed. Is it the smile? Is it the aftershave? Is it the capacity to laugh at myself? I don't know. It's crazy!
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The Doctor : Master, just calm down. Just look at what you're doing, just stop! If you could see yourself...
The Master : [to the press] Oh, do excuse me, little bit of personal business. Back in a minute. Let him go!
[the guards throw The Doctor to the floor]
The Doctor : It's that sound, the sound in your head. What if I could help?
The Master : Oh, how to shut him up! I know! Memory Lane!
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The Master : [meets President Winters on the tarmac] Mr. President, sir!
[He salutes]
President : Mr. Saxon. The British Army will stand down. From now on, UNIT has control of this operation.
The Master : You make it sound like an invasion!
President : First contact policy was decided by the Security Council in 1968, and you've just gone and ignored it.
The Master : Well you know what it's like. New job. All that paperwork. I think it's down the back of the settee. I did have a quick look. I found a pen, a sweet, a bus ticket, oh, and have you met the wife?
[Lucy Saxon steps forward]
President : Mr. Saxon, I'm not sure what your game is, but there are provisions at the UN to have you removed from office unless you are very *very* careful. Is that understood?
The Master : [holds up his right hand and "zips" his lips tight]
President : Are you taking this seriously?
[the Master shakes his head]
President : To business, we've accessed your files on these Toclafane. But first contact cannot take place on any sovereign soil. For that purpose, the aircraft carrier Valiant is en route. The rendezvous will take place there at 8:00 AM.
The Master : [says something muffled through his clenched lips]
President : You're trying my patience, sir.
The Master : [holds up his right hand again and "unzips" his lips] So America is *completely* in charge?
President : Since Britain elected an ass, yes! I'll see you on board the Valiant!
The Master : It still will be televised, though? Won't it? Because I promised and the whole world is watching.
President : Since it's too late to pull out, the world will be watching - *me*!
The Master : [turns to Lucy] The last President of America. We have a private plane ready and waiting. We should reach the Valiant within the hour.
[as vehicles move, the Master looks towards the perimeter of the airfield and spots the Doctor, Jack and Martha]
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The Doctor : We're the only ones left...
The Master : Are you asking me on a date?
