Schitt's Creek (TV Series)

Life Is a Cabaret (2019)

Dan Levy: David Rose

Quotes 

• David Rose : [Enters the motel office to see Stevie sitting at her desk]  Uh-oh!

  Stevie Budd : Hi!

  David Rose : Hi!

  Stevie Budd : Who are those for?

  David Rose : They're for you! I wanted to wish you luck for your big show! You're stepping very far out of your comfort zone and I think that takes a lot of courage.

  Stevie Budd : I don't think I've ever heard you use the word courage before outside of criticizing people's style choices.

  [David makes a face] 

  Stevie Budd : What's going on?

  David Rose : Nothing

  Stevie Budd : You're only this happy when you have gossip or there's something in the news about Oprah?

  David Rose : There's something in the news about Oprah. She just got an espadrille.

  Stevie Budd : David?

  David Rose : You have a show to focus on! We'll celebrate tonight

  Stevie Budd : Celebrate what?

  David Rose : You!

  [short pause] 

  David Rose : The show!

  Stevie Budd : Okay then! I guess I'll see you tonight! Bye!

  David Rose : Fine!

  [Showing Stevie his hand] 

  David Rose : Patrick proposed and I said yes!

  Stevie Budd : Oh my god! OH MY GOD DAVID!

  David Rose : I know!

  Stevie Budd : Wholly GOD David!

  [Stevie hugs David] 

  Stevie Budd : I'm so happy for you!

  [Pushes David by his shoulders] 

  Stevie Budd : When did this happen?

  David Rose : Last night!

  Stevie Budd : Oh my god!

  David Rose : Are you okay?

  Stevie Budd : Yes! I'm just happy!

  David Rose : See? This is why I wanted to wait!

  Stevie Budd : No! I'm glad you told me. You just caught me off guard. It's just nerves. Which reminds me I have to get back to learning this script because there's a scene that I just can't get.

  David Rose : Well, you are the only person that I've told. If you could just keep this to yourself that would be great.

  Stevie Budd : Okay! Congratulations David!

  David Rose : Thank you!

• David Rose : [after Patrick hands him a glass of champaign]  Is this how marriage is supposed to be?

  Patrick Brewer : [Jumping into bed]  No, this was left over from the picnic yesterday and I didn't want to waste it.

  [Clinking their glasses together] 

  David Rose : You could have lied?

• Ted Mullens : Hey David! Congratulations! I'm really happy for you.

  David Rose : You know? I was going to be the one to let people know?

  Ted Mullens : Oh, your dad doesn't know?

  Johnny Rose : Know what son?

  Roland Schitt : If you're talking about Dave's big engagement news? A best man hasn't been chosen but we think it's going to be a black tie affair.

  Johnny Rose : David? You're engaged?

  David Rose : Yeah! Sure!

  Johnny Rose : David! Congratulations! You deserve all of the happiness in the world! We'll pick this up later.

• David Rose : Stevie!

  Stevie Budd : I'm sorry I'm late. I went to Almdale and got stuck in traffic.

  Jocelyn Schitt : Stevie! Thank god you're here!

  David Rose : I'm sorry. I never should have told you!

  Stevie Budd : No! Patrick gave me his blessing to pick something up. I hate driving to Almdale I could have done this any other time this week but I will yell at Patrick later.

  David Rose : I thought you were upset?

  Stevie Budd : These are for you. Soon you'll be moving in with Patrick and I won't be around to give you towels when you need them.

  David Rose : Thank you. I love the monogram and the thread colour choice. I love you in this outfit!

  Stevie Budd : Hey! Pretty soon you're going to be a married man. Oh! Mrs. Rose, Were you planning on taking my place?

  Moira Rose : No, I was just here to offer support. Excuse me I'll just go.

  [Weeping] 

  David Rose : Good luck!

• David Rose : [Standing on the chair]  Everyone? I would just like to say a big congratulations to Team Cabaret. You guys were awesome. Speaking of love...

  Roland Schitt : [Raspy voice]  Somebody got engaged!

  David Rose : Speaking of love, I'm so glad that you're all here because Patrick and I have an announcement to make.

  Jocelyn Schitt : [Very drunk]  They're getting married!

  David Rose : Jocelyn! I'm the one standing on the chair! Two years ago I went to fill out some paperwork for my business license and little did I know I would meet the love of my

  [Moira's phone starts ringing] 

  David Rose : MY. GOD!

  Moira Rose : Sorry, this is me. It's probably press. I'm sorry David I have to take this. I already know about your engagement!

  [blows David kisses] 

  Ronnie Lee : So you're engaged to him?

  David Rose : Okay, so this shouldn't be so hard!

  Alexis Rose : Oh my god, David spit it out!

  David Rose : Oh my god! Fine! I met someone who changed my life and I don't know what I would do without him? So yes, we all know that Patrick and I are engaged!

  Moira Rose : NO! NO! NO!

  Stevie Budd : My God!

  Johnny Rose : [Everyone runs into the other room to find Moira collapsed on the floor]  If it's a bad review Moira I wouldn't trust local critics.

  Moira Rose : They shelved the Crowing! It's over.

  [Moira crawls into a closet, shuts the door and starts crying] 

  Johnny Rose : [Standing in front of the closet door]  Show's over people! Nothing here to see.

  David Rose : Okay everyone if you can just leave your champagne flutes here. Unless you still want to make a toast?

  [Patrick shakes his head no] 

  David Rose : Okay just leave your champagne flutes here. Thank you!

• David Rose : [Looking at Patrick]  I told Stevie this morning the next thing I know she's nowhere to be found. People who I haven't even talked to are coming up and talking to me. I just wish this whole engagement announcement hadn't gotten so out of control.

  Jocelyn Schitt : Gentlemen, pre-show drama aside I just want to say congratulations to the future Mr and Mr or is it Misters?

  David Rose : See what I mean? Now Jocelyn how did you find out?

  Jocelyn Schitt : Moira, or maybe Alexis.

  Patrick Brewer : Thanks, Jocelyn but I'm a little more concerned about the show.

  Jocelyn Schitt : Don't worry! Moira said she has a backup plan.